23 December 2006
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Today didnt go work.. Cause i have to go for the god stuff... !st time seen so many things... Did learn something... However when i see our ah pek, my heart feel pain.. Cause he was like so patheic... i dunno just feel heart pain.. If i can i sure get our ah pek & xiong te gong to be proud... Do wad they wan... Today walked the whole day.. eyes tired, legs tired... Plus some stupid ppl over there really sucks.. Especially that bitch..

("v") Pray that got that day to make our "yan shan keong" proud!! ("v")

22 December 2006
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Today, was at home whole day until at night.. we went to god celebration... Our god was invited.. Thus we have to go... OMG there was 6 dua ya pek & 3 di ya pek... 1 pair was from China some more... didnt seen such a seen.. It's my 1st time... After that we went home... around 11pm++ Then went to have our dinner...

("v") Tired!! i dunno got wad to say ley =p ("v")

21 December 2006
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Today, we didnt rest at all... Was busy cleaning the house... Around 4am, we ordered Mac..total of 5 meals.. Brought breakfast for mom, jie & yan.. the rest my mei & i finish off.. Of cause my mei ate the most.. Know wonder she look so fat =x Then Yan didnt go sch so we didnt manage to rest at all... In the afternoon, when mom is back, my mei & i went to amk central to send out our x-mas card... Then brought cakes & bread... Then she brought her pillow again.. After that we went to NTUC to restock.. But was kinda hungry go went to buy 2 tea egg... before we went NTUC... After that was too much things to carry, we took cab home... OMG! i overspent... Saddie.. Then rush home to work..

("v") Money money... i need u badly... got so much things to buy!! ("v")

20 December 2006
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Today, we woke up then went to suntec... My mei wanna buy things, i brought a new wallet for him as well as brought 3 blanket.. 1 stitch, 1 mickey, 1 chip & dale... We brought cake for yan... When we reach home, sing bday song for yan. after yan left the house, we clean up the house as our got got bed bugs.. so irrating hai!~ Here & there ichy.. Thus everything have to rewash... bedsheet, blanket, pillow, even clothe... today i sent around $80..

("v") URG! IRRAITING BUGS!!! GET OUT OF MY HOUSE!! ("v") 12/24/2006 01:59:00 AM

19 December 2006
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Today, went out with my family.. As we are celebrating Yan's birthday a day before... We went out around 5pm.. When we reached Orchard, we went kinokuniya... Brought the Jap dictionary & grammer book.. As well as 2 pen refill, 1 packet of gliter, 2 ribbons... After that we went Taka shop around, take photo.. After that we went Heerens to take photo.. After that we went Swensen for dinner.. Spend around $60 over *mom paid for it =x* After that went to the hotel and wait for my sister-in-law come pick us up... Today was raining the whole day... Poor mom, half of her jeans was wet... Overall, all of us were superb happy!! But mom was tired and was about to fall sick... However, my ex & Yan's birthday falls on the same day... Wanna wish them Happy Birthday!! Hope tml continue rain HEAVILY!! Cause i love rainny days!! Simply love rain... If possible snow =x wanna see it *Sorry i'm day dreaming* Btw, today i asked for break up again.. Dunno y.. Just feel tired.. Wan him to do something... However, my heart still cant put down... Hope he would do something asap before my heart dies.. or put down... Oh ya! My business going starts soon.. But lack of cash.. A little heart pain to use my mom's money.. Her hard earn money... Hope my plan wont falls... MUST EARN ALOT TO REPAY MY MOM!! MUST!! Hurts-san, anata wa ganbara nakereba narimasen ne!! GANBATTE KUDASAI!!

("v") Rain Rain come again, Little girl girl want to play! Love my FAMILY!! Happy to see them happy.. Hope my family can be happy forever!! ("v")




12/20/2006 02:30:00 AM

17 December 2006
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Today, feeling very tired... Dunno why, this few days my leg feels so painful... feels so heavy.. Today worked until very stressful.. Around 2pm, all noodless were sold out.. Thus i called up dearie told him that i going home soon.. asked him to get off early.. However, he told me that he cant make it again... Always like that.. His reason was his mom dun let as he is sick.. His mom cooked for him... sked him to rest at home dun go out... I feel really sad.. I planned everything on how to take care of u.. wanna cook porriage for you... etc.. But all vanish in vain... Without saying much i hang up.. Feeling really sad & wanted to cry.. I endure.. I dunno wad to do... Feels so miserable & helpless... Since is that case, then u be ur mom's boy then... I wont pester you any further... I will CONTROL myself not to look for you anymore...

("z") Really tired of my life.. So many hills to climb up.. Everytime i climb till half way, i would fall badly... Teach me what to do... ("z")

16 December 2006
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Today, after work, went out with dearie... We didnt like before.. Our R/S getting more and more slient.. We didnt really talked much.. Whenever he talked, or said sorry to me, or asked me wad happened, my heart feels so hurts... He didnt notice that he had break my heart unknowingly... I keep on crying when we was outside.. However i keep endure and endure.. And i knew it! my smile & laughter already fading away... Anyway he was feeling sick.. As he was having fever.. I didnt know wad to do.. But know that he keep trying to warmth me up.. Just that something lossed, hardly get it back until everything was healed...Between Him & Mie, i know something has already gone missing... I dunno wad is it.. Just feeling hurts whenever he talks, hugged or kissed me.. Having a feeling that we wont last long... Aiya.. I dunno lar.. However, when he sent me home, i asked him take my medicine for cough.. and put a cooling pad on his head so to make his temperature down alittle.. Asked him not to meet me the next day.. But he insist.. But kinda happy that he said that... However, we brought alot of things.. I got my second payment.. Around $270.. Signed Kinokuniya card end up those discount are not for stationary sob! *Regreted* Brought 9 Copiic Marker But one of the pink RV34 i already have.. SOB! Wasted my $6. Spent $75.50 at kinokuniya... He brought a manet board which i wanna make it as a photo frame and a mini stitch memo pad for me..

("v") What will happen to Panda & Piggy? I dunno! I also dun wish anything will happen to us... Cause i care, i cherish but you? ("v")

15 December 2006
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Today, got disturb by Yan. After that i couldn't carry on sleep anymore... Thus i get up, played AuditionSea followed by watch anime NANA!! I'm Falling for Nobu.. OMG! This Episode 30, Showed how happy Nana is being with Nobu. They so lovely dovey man.. However the ending was so heartbreak.. Nana was pregnant.. From further info, the baby is Takumi's child... Hope to see next episode asap.. What will happen?? I more and more addited to Nana...

("v") Hope Nobu & Nana will be a pair.. I simply hate Takumi!! ("v") 12/17/2006 03:40:00 PM

Hmm~ Got up early.. Actually i shd say is didnt sleep well.. dun feel like sleeping... This few day, alot of things happened.. Suddenly needa buy alot of things... Jie moving house soon.. Have to buy my own pc soon $1000 at lease.. Saw that drawer at court which is at a corner $700 also wanna buy Nokia 7390 $700, wanna get a coffee table also $100.. and a drawing table at ikea is about $250.. Havent buy my copiic marker & SKII Cleanser... money money.. This few days, got addited by AuditionSea wanna buy the clothing also... All this needs money money.. But i didnt work where do i get money? Sigh! Just hope Mom got strike 4D =xReally in needs of money.. PLUS... my small business going start le.. Where do i get the money? SiGh!

("v") So stress without money. Got so many things to do with money.. Without them, nothing can be done sob! ("v") 12/15/2006 09:32:00 AM

10 December 2006
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Today didn't manage to meet him up... Cause i wanna accompany my mom more when i have the time.. She old already... If i getting marry wont have much time for her... However, last night dearie said will update his blog.. then called mie.. End up i waited for him the whole night.. Called him a lot of time finally he pick up.. Then chat awhile asked him call me back he said ok.. I waited and waited but got nothing... The next day not even a sorry.. I was very sad not angry with him.. I keep on thinking wad am i to him?! How important i am to him? When i called back, i talk with tears end up i hang up the phone.. he called me back once then give up! It really breaks my heart... Till at night, i called him back is like he pushing everything to mie.. Is like everything my fault.. I dunno why.. I did everything for him.. Put every effort i can in our r/s this is wad i got.. I even changed myself for him.. Do wadever i can be done.. Still dun make any different...i hold him tightly, he say he lack of freedom.. I gave him freedom, he fly and nv return~ I really dunno wad else can be done.. I've been doing things in our r/s.. i Endure, waiting without any complaint... be more understanding, try not to make a fuss abt small things...worried, care about u... Whenever u did something thats made me unhappy, i cheer myself up, console myself.. Cry to my own... endure the loneliness... Yet he still dig up the old bad things abt mie to quarrel. We quarrel until i totally give up, asked for break up.. Then he tried to clam me down.. Then we talk peacefully... After awhile we get back to normal.. But i know that cut in my heart will stay there always...

("v") You wants me to hold you tight.. Whenever i hug you tight, i but cut by ur torns...I really dunno wad else can i do! I did my very best... Do wadever i can~! Everything i'm crying but u wont knows~ No matter how tired i am, i still tried my best to do wadever that can make u melt, sweet and happy.. But I got injuried myself! ("v")

9 December 2006
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Today, We went to pray in the morning.. With mom & family.. Kind of angry with Dear cause he always late... Said coming to my house yet still need to wait for 2hrs ++ When he came i didnt say much... Then he played with Yan.. After awhile Yan fallen asleep, we paint the window.. Then he chat in the kitchen.. My mom said she go out for a walk.. Too bored in my heart i wish to accompany her cause i worried that anythink happen.. But Dear is in my house i dunno wad to do... So my mom went alone... I was kinda worried about her.. When dear fallen asleep i faster called up my mom.. See where is she... After that she came home rest awhile, we went to AMK central.. Go Popular buy my paper & jie buy her printer ink... After that we went to Mayflower ec Opp to had our dinner.. cause i wanna bring my mom go have nice food mah.. Then i wanna eat crab end up go there.. But there are so many ppl.. some ppl cut que some more... kinda pissed off.. Plus can see that mommy dun like to have dinner over that she still prefer that Gim Tim.. That old resturant... So i said why not we go there have our dinner we still can have sharkfin~ =x After awhile, we decided to go there have our dinner... We ordered crab, sharkfin, Drunken Prawns, Kang kong... Dearie treat us!! So nice of him~~ =D i feel alittle sweet & melted...

("v") I feel that i more & more love my mom!! Dun wanna hurts her .. That y i changed alot.. Become more careful when talk to her or my body language.. Dearie thanks for treating my family dinner Love u loads! ("v") 12/13/2006 04:08:00 AM

8 December 2006
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Today do housewrok the whole day.. Helping my mom to clean the house mah... Did manage to made myself happy and forget the unhappy things... Painted the room window & side of the door... I've notice that i've changed alot.. From dunno how to sote and love my mom, became i know how to do those... Wish to bring my mom out for good dinner/lunch. Help out my mom in everything she does, think everything for her.. Just like how she treat my grandma... Just only 1 thing we had are not good.. Is the way of talking/speaking... Sometime hurts her unknowingly... But deep inside my heart she takes alot of place... i care, love, dote, zai hu about her.. After doing those housework, went to play game... Didn't find him the whole day.. I thought he will be online but didnt see him in msn... When i was in game saw him.. slowly we played game together, then talk to each other... Last night i was very angry wbout him... But i had a very very sweet dream about me n him.. Made my love for him get back to the point... So didnt manage to angry with him too much... until just now, 3am ++ thought we can chat nicely in msn.. end up.. Getting hurts again... I'm not saying abt me n u.. I just talk abt U!! Cause i wanna u to feel that u in ns we r better.. dun wanna u to worry much.. scare of anything... We grown up after u been to ns.. Don't u realise? But i do.. In the past all u did is sleep, play and watch tv.. Even we have time wanna meet up, all u did is sleep sleep sleep... Not much sweet talk as now... Not much surprise as now.. At lease now u will try anything to surprise mie even that is not a gift.. And surprise is not all about present but is the heart that u prepare for mie.. We had quarrel most of the time... Now u in ns.. Quarrel also hard.. Sometime feels lonely.. But thinking of how much u suffer in ns i dun feel any lonely.. Cause i know u worked hard for mie.. I just wanna let u know my feeling.. But end up you hurts me with a words... "Then how much sweet talk u gave me?" i was not talking abt mie.. BUt u....

("v") I really tired of pushing you anymore. U dun wanna move i wont say anything anymore... Dunno wad to do.. I cant Let go, cant hold tight.. Whenever i tried, i got cut by ur torns... Just hope that my life end faster.. Than Being torture by emotions.. I'm afraid of letting go... I'm already injured myself everywhere.. Just tell me wad to do! ('v") 12/09/2006 03:10:00 AM

7 December 2006
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Today woke up early.. went to Bugis with okasan to ane... Looking for God statue... Brought 3... "Xiong te gong" & "Ah Nui" & "Seng Zai Ya".. All of them look very nice... Superb tired... After that we took cab home.. Then rust at home... Also dunno how i spend my day.. At night, playing Audition suddenly my mie take some thing small.. talking to me when i was playing game.. She dunno wanna say wad.. Distruct mie... End up i from 1st to 2nd.. Kinda pissed off.. I did shouted at her.. feeling guilty also but not purposely.. After that i quit my game with very very pissed off face... Then called that IDIOT who didnt look for mie whole day!!! But he didnt pick up.. Sometime i just wonder is it giving u too much freedom of doing wad u wan.. end up i walking towards lonely path... Can Sometime dun need me to ask u do things for mie? Feel tired to push u anymore!! Sent him a very hurtsful sms... i feel bad tot... BUT i dunno wad else can i do at that time...

("v") I'm tired of my life!! IT'S SO BORING & MEANINGLESS!! IS BETTER IF I LeAVE THIS WORLD!! ("v")

6 December 2006
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Today was just a normal day.. But at night had alittle unhappy.. Cause got alittle disappointment... I wish really wish to can forget unhappy things... I find that my memorise getting more n more weak... This few days having mood swimg.. Just feel like crying... However there wont be any shoulder around... OH YA!! MY HOUSE ALMOST GOT ON FIRE!! Know wad? My mom heat up the "Lor chap" then forget about it.. when i going to the kitchen, saw whole kitchen was filled with smoke.. i was so scare dunno wad to shout.. But shouted this "MAMA HELP GOING TO BOOM!!!" my mom rush to the kitchen, quickly turn off the gas.. After everything, we laughed like mad... I realise that i do dote my mom nowadays... But in Heart.. However, my stupid still saying nasty things to her.. Sometime feels very rude.. No matter wad, i know she knows my charater well.. Can feel that i love her & dote her.... Also i notice that i really wish to master my jap language.. I getting more n more loving the language of jap... listening to jap songs.. no matter is ROCK or slow songs it simply ROCK ME TO JAP WORLD!! JAP UP MY LIFE!! Simply love Japanese Language... But not being Japaness.. Cause girls in japan, are very pitiful.. The dun have the advantage.. That's why always got bullied..

("v") OH GOD!! DONT LET THIS THING HAPPENED AGAIN!! Dunno how many times already..("v") 12/08/2006 02:20:00 AM

3 December 2006
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Today, went out with Goshujin... We went Orchard again.. As i wanna buy the bean bag, i've brought 2 for $25.80... after that we went to shopped around.. Then went PS. We went to Daiso for shopping too.. brought 5 items @ $10. After that we went to have our lunch at swensen... I treating him as promised.. As i was having mood swing, i think did ruin the day of this special day... After that i feel that very very tired.. so we planned to go home... We took bus 166 home.. On way way home, the bus stopped at one of the bus-stop, with a squire or otter statue.. Dearie faster ask mie take a photo kinda lame right? But i like it! =x In the bus, we talked alot... Then we change bus 265 to my house @ the NTUC bus stop, my mom n mei get on.. dearie told mie tat he say my sis.. i way too tired but still lift up my head and see.. After that we reached home together... He accompany mie around 1hr++ then went off.. got to book in today.... sob!

("v") How i wish we have more time to spend together, more money for mie to spend, for u to spoil mie sob! ("v")

2 December 2006
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Today we went bishan for breakfast plus lunch @ fei chui. Cause we have to voucher. After lunch, i went to withdraw $300.. gave mom $150 plus $50 as i treat them lunch, gave both of my sisters $20 each. After that we move on the Orchard shopped... Spend $70 @ Toyfair.. Brought 2 pair of shoes, 2 pants & 1 milk bottle for $10, a bubble toy for mei.1 pair of slipper for okasan, 1 winnie the pooh mug for ane, a tazzy soft toy for imouto, 1 set of tea cup with tea pot, 1 A5 dog note pad, 1 stitch pouch for myself. Mom brought a toy car for yan to play.. Superb nice car... After that all of us were tired so went home.. Not awhile, i've fallen asleep...

("v") I really wish to give mom more money just that i cant affort sob! If i can manage, i rather mom don't work i give her money to cover daily expenses. Still own her $250 sob! ("v")

1 December 2006
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Today, is my last day of work... Early in the morning i was late.. Almost miss the bus.. Luckily can manage to catch up... In the bus saw Seline.. SO SURPRISE!! cause seldom see her so early.. Plus we sitting next to each other. Then got a new MALAY girl came.. she took my sit.. Was kinda unhappy cause i got no place to sit.. SAD HOR? Nvm la, anyway today last day of work mah.. In the afternoon, Planning to treat my colleage pizza.. In the end duno who treat.. They said the pizza company treat due to being late for an hour plus... After that send files to A&H department.. saw Amanda she was going out of the life and i'm getting on the life.. she like wanna tell mie something or shd say give mie something.. Then when i'm free i went back.. She gave me a perfume which i like the smell.. Sweet smell, same as Corinna.. After work was Superb happy!! Know why? Cause i got my pay!! $850 my 1st pay!!! and also dun have to go back to tat CSG department! Dun like working over there cause work stressful, boss also give mie alot of stress.. plus need to carry files... Okay, back to after work.. went to swensen brought a mango ice-cream cake.. cause today, my grandma birthday... The food was just soso only~ Not really nice.. But EXPENSIVE!!! Btw last night i saw a mobile phone, Nokia 7390.. Dam nice i simply love it man.. is a flip phone with 3G, mp3 etc.. It look more to lady phone... Hope to have it.. Dearie promised to buy it for mie on our 1yr anniversary... Mayb i shdn't be too happy 1st..

("v") My pay looked so little not enough money to use sob! think gonna get another job already if not wait for my dearie to give mie money =X ("v") 12/06/2006 12:30:00 AM