He came after work.. We slept until around 3pm.. Then woke up, we went to have our lunch @ AMK KFC.. After that brought 3 pants @ $10.. Then we went to Orchard.. 1stly, we went to Cineleisure brought a white blouse i wanted for a long time @ $25.90.. Then brought a braclet for him & myself with our name @ $15.90, then went to find the slipper i wanted to buy. However, couldn't get it as doesn't have my size.. Thus, i brought another one @ $9.90 then brought a brown blouse @ $18.. Then we went to Heeren brought a Kiehls Blue Cleanser @ $42 & Herb Toner @ 75 for Dearie. Plus Tea Tree oil shampoo @ $55, Leave on hair conditioner @ $45, Olive Fruit Oil hair treatment @ $50, Olive fruit hair conditioner @ $35, Panthenol hair spray @ $28 for myself, and brought a baby lip balm @ $17 for Yan.. After that we went shopping @ Action city for awhile then we went back to Taka. On our way, i notice that dear's devil hearts was missing.. I was very upset.. The dollie which his brother brought for us.. Then start to think of rubbish.. When we reached Arts Friend @ Taka, i brought the compic maker refill.. Then went ti Kinokuniya brought 5 compic marker: YG41, BG32, E34, RV06, FRV1 @ $30 & a marker box @ 10.50.. When we going back to Cineleisure, on our way, outside Esprit, We found that Devil's heart.. Both of us was so happy... When we collect our braclet, that lady said she forget to count the bracket money.. The previous payment was for the tag & the name only.. We was like OMG so expensive.. But nvm seldom pamper my dear.. so we paid & leave.. Then we went to see how much money left in my bank... After that, went to get 2 Toy Egg of Sylvania family.. After that we went to have dinner @ Long John but dearie eat only.. Cos i wasn't hungry..



Things i brought for myself:


("v") Silly dear.. Remember wad u promised me ok? PAY HALF OF THE PC ah!! =X I seldom pamper you.. Hope when i do, it will melts you.. And will forgive my ren xin & being bad at times.. =D Althought spend so much money but i think it's worth it to see a smile from you ^^ Love ya always ("v") 4/26/2007 11:23:00 PM

Today, woke up around 4pm plus.. Paint my room again... Finally finish painting my lovely room.. KIREII!! Purple & Cream colour.. But got my legs got cut by the ladder.. Injuried from hand to toe.. But saw my room was completed was so happy forgotten all the pain & hardship... =D My mama also helped me.. My dearie help painting the window on monday 23 april... Then put on bed sheet on my new bed arrived on fri 20 April... Clean up my room, washed the fan & air-con... After doing this n tat then sleep.. Was so tired after 2 days of painting & packing my house...

("v") keep having nightmare of you.. Hope it won't happen!! Really love my room.. Just that those stupid boxes spoiled the room... ("v") 4/25/2007 11:18:00 PM

He came help me pain my room window.. But he was sleeping, when he rest on my bed 1st thing he got was a hard knock on my bed frame.. I did not sayang him as i was still unhappy with him thus, keep beatting him.. asked him to get away from me.. Dun touch me.. =X so evil of me... we woke up around 1pm plus.. Then went to Jie's house took those paint over.. Then start painting.. Suddenly my mom called said my uncle brought the 4D he did win.. Dunno how he write until on sunday then he really wins 4D.. Thx for my amulet.. He gave me 3k.. My boths sisters got 1k each so as Yan... Mom got 2k... WOW!! CAN BUY MY PC LE!! HAHA!! At night, around 2 pm, went Macdonal for supper with Jie.. Told her loads of things... =D LUCKY DAY!!

How i planned spending the 2k:
Buy the princess blouse
Marker refill
slipper
High heel shoes
Bed lamp
Jeans & 3/4 Jeans
Perm my hair
PC
Handphone
Kiehls Hair care
Kiehls Facial care for dearie (As promised when i have the money, buy u better cleanser & toner)


("v") Sorry dear for my behavier.. But u dun treat me so bad i wont treat u so bad le lo =X ("v") 4/24/2007 11:26:00 PM

Now displaying this song:
Kaze no machi e

Toki no mukou kaze no machi e
Please, take me to the town of wind
Nee, tsurete itte
On the other side of time
Shiroi hana no yume
Please, grant the wish
Kanaete
Of my pure white flower

Amai yubi de kono te wo tori, nee
Grab me by the hand with your gentle fingers
Tooi michi wo
And take me far away
Michibiite hoshii no
Guide me to your world
Anata no soba e
So I can be with you

Sono utagoe taenai hirusagari
Without even a whisper of your song on this fateful afternoon
Mezamete futari wa hitotsu ni nari
Two lovers awake to become one
Shiawase no imi wo
For the first time,
hajimete shiru no deshou
they'll learn what true happiness is
Tsurete itte
Take me away

Sono utagoe setsunaku takaraka ni
Your singing voice resounds
Subete no kokoro ni hibiku no deshou
All through my heart loudly and sadly
Shiawase no imi wo shirazu ni
On a night where I sleep without knowing the
nemuru yoru ni
meaning of happiness

Mada shiranai yume no mukou,
Together, we can go
nee Tooi michi wo
The great distance
Futari de yukeru wa
Beyond a dream I don't know yet
Kaze no machi e~
To the town of

("v") Simply love this sad song.. From a anime Tsubasa Chronicle.. ("v") 4/23/2007 03:00:00 AM

He didnt care much about me this few days.. I guess he didnt get my apologise present.. End up we had cold war again.. No sms, no call, no concern.. Got nothing! Disappointment after another.. Without me asking you READ my blog, u will never read it yourself or find out wad happened to me... When i'm down! I wont ask you to read anymore.. If u wanna find out 1 day, when i'm no longer with you, u will know i've sliently leave your side, @ lease u can find the reason here..U promised me that you would change alot of things but it seems like it's another empty promises again... Remember u told me? u will be more alert? more caring of me? I dunno wad u busy with this few days! Really!! Calling me, chatting with me, sms me is really that hard?! Forget it! Mayb is time for me to really put u down.. After that day, i've give up everything including my life... Now i'm just destorying myself.... spoiling my own health~~

I'm tired...........................

............................ Of everything!

("v") I'm dead for now! I tried hard.. I fall hard again.. Even with you, u didnt manage to lift me up! I still alone always! Until i'm done with my things, i will gone from your hug.. And all i can say is I'm sorry.. I do put a effort but u dun eppreatie.. When i'm gone, u can revive your freedom ("v") 4/22/2007 11:25:00 PM

These few days was so busy with god stuff.. However today shd be a happy day.. Celebrating my god birthday.. But i was being punished.. Reason was i'm not serious enough!! How serious do they wan me to do? If needs to be punish, all of them have to be punish too... Is their fault.. Didn't give me a timing.. Everyone have to wait for me.. IS NOT MY FAULT!! i can say out loud that i didn't do anything wrong.. Thus they dun have to rights to punished me!! i was so angry.. until i'm mad... But weird things is i bang my head againts the wall hard but i didnt got bao bao on head.. @ that time i tell myself if wanna punish me, kill me right away.. And please kill it with my soul.. I dun have to be reborn again.. I HATE MYSELF! I HATE MY LIFE!! I put in so much effort yet i got all this craps.. Those uncles doing hypocrite things but they didn't got any punish..If without my mei force the door to unlock, i might do something more crazy things.. Just dunno y, when i'm very angry i will do something i dun even know.. It's beyond my control..

Dear, thanks for your console & coax.. I will not treat you as my chu qi tong if wan, i will only nag n nag non stop.. =X The others which will hurts u, i wont do it infront of u.. i will only do it to myself.. & dear if 1 day, i really not in this world with you... U can be sad.. U can cry as hard as you can.. but after crying must live strong for.. Live for a part as me.. Which ever dreams i wanted, couldn't make it, you help me fufill... Don't forget me! As i wont let u.. Even i dun have my soul, but i'll be in your heart.. Get another happiness, with my luck & blessing.. Just keep me a side of your heart will do... Just wondering if i were to leave, will i be missed? Will i be remember? Will everyone cry for me? But @ lease i know you, my mei, my jie & mom will.. Yan will only find me cos she's still young dunno wad happen... So in future, must dote Yan for my behalf... Those words i wanna let you know just incase it happen... Cause no kidding if you dare a god!

("v") At this night, i wish you were here to clam me down.. Hugging me tightly.. sayang me.. This is wad u will always do when i'm down.. Even i put all my anger on you.. U will still smile @ me & say sorry la dear dear dun angry k? =D Come hubby sayang~ All these words & movement, clam me down... Love you as much as my hate for myself ! Dun hate yourself cause i dun wanna you to be so miserable like me... ("v") 4/19/2007 11:09:00 PM

Woke up around 12pm.. Brush teeth, WTH no water.. They was changing the new water pipe.. Thus 1 pail of water to do anything i want.. then feed my fish.. After i finish doing my things, i check out on my fish again.. Notice that my fish didnt rush to snatch food or eat.. Then find alot of small orange bubble.. Then know that my fish lay eggs.. But they already eaten alot of eggs.. i quickly seprate them from the egg.. Wwad the hell!!! NO WATER cant do anything.. but divide my fish away from the egg 1st.. Called dear asked him come down asap.. When he reached, we went to that shop which sell fish.. the uncle told me to give me fish eat the eggs.. is useless.. OMG! SO CRUEL!! Even if it didnt hatch into small goldfish, i would buried them than let them eat they own babies.. around 5pm plus, finally got water thus we change the fish tank water put the eggs on a nest.. After awhile ask dearie go home. i dun wanna see him got scolding again.. n now he's sleeping without sms or call me...

*STUPID SINGAPOREAN!!*
My house was doing the god stuff.. & there's a stupid malay, who parked his car next to the "Chang si" there.. if any damage to the car we won't be responsible.. Wad made me more angry is that.. THIS STUPID PIG did it on purposed.. We did let them know that cant be park within this area he purposely go parked it n took bus to work.. End up saying that our fault cos we was staring today but 2 days ago, everything was up.. to take up their space... Fu**king idiot.. Brainless right! I will get his car plate up to my blog to let others know he's that stupid & lame!

("v") I'm afraid! So afraid that in future ur mom dislike me.. Or we cant be together.. I'm not good in anything & it seems like............ better not to say.. keep it to myself.. Night ("v") 4/17/2007 11:27:00 PM

After book out, we went to have breafast.. i didn't eat anything much.. Cause having gastric pain & stomach upset.. Ate half plate of carrot cake, a rojak potato...After that his friend, Nee ping (i think it spell this way) send us to Tampines as we going to IKEA.. So all of us squeeze in his car.. Got drop off at the traffic light there.. Then took shutter bus to IKEA.. Finally brought my bed frame & Bed.. Also helped Ane brought Yan's bed.. However, Dear looked so tired.. Thanks to him helped me carry those heavy woods else i cant do anything i cant even lift up 1inch.. He alone help me carry all the items i needed.. Spend $377 my bed.. However, we wanna get delivery for us so pay extral $40 & help us fix the bed @ #11.40.. Total $428.70.. Jie still own me $50.. After that we took bus home.. On our way home both of us were sleeping.. Wanna give him rest on my shoulder but who know i also tired end up i'm the 1 who sleeping on his.. Reached home, took $450. Then went to amk central.. pay back my mom.. cos i borrow from him to buy the bed as i didnt bring any money with me... After doing those important things, we went to buy snow ice.. Then tea egg.. then went home.. he send me to bus stop waited awhile for the bus then i asked him to go off.. He was in hurry.. & i dun wan cos of me he got scolding.. When i reached home, eat the egg, bath, wash face & brush teeth, i went to sleep..

("v") FINALLY GOT MY BED AWW! SO HAPPY! However, must wait till friday my bed then will be send to my house.. YIPPY! Got to thank my dear a million.. Only you would help me so this much without any complains not only carry those heavy stuff but also help me setter everything.. Hope in future our house we could choose, do this again.. I really find it sweet.. ("v") 4/16/2007 11:09:00 PM

worked till 1pm plus.. half day =S cause wanna go get a phone same as my mei.. sony ericsson w880i.. However wasn't able to get it.. Kinda sad about it.. Hmm~ then after my sis went out, me & him had a big quarrel.. This is the worst quarrel we ever had.. i saw him cried bitterly & beg me.. Saw how his heart & my heart was broken.. At 1st i wan only upset about couldn't get the phone.. If i insist of getting, i can able to get.. however i'm not that selfish.. If i get it, he wont be able to spend on anything even on food.. Thus, i give up on the phone... Then he did tried to console & coax me.. Maybe is cause i'm too stuborn.. I keep telling myself nevermind cause i dun really like that phone as i wanna get flip or slot up phone.. But dunno why i behave this way.. Then we chatted until half way, he told me he changed... i tot he change to tat bad boy how i know in the past.. But was not, was more worst.. He told me he smoke.. I pushed him away without thinking n cry painfully.. WHY MUST YOU LIED TO ME? He smoke, i drink.. Dead drunk.. he snatch that bottle from me but unknowingly, he cut my hand.. During drunk that period of time, i dunno wad i said & do.. But all i know is i forgive him again.. Hope you wont hurts me again.. If u feel unhappy or stress tell me.. Just dun smoke.. the most i wont nag at you.. After resting awhile, we went to his friends chalet.. i didn't eat much.. His friends was so friendly.. Keep asking me eat.. I wish i could join them the fun but dunno y, i'm anti social.. i wish to join them but hide behind them.. Notice 1 thing he can gamble, he just forget about me.. or should i say he gets to play he would forget about me... Saw how they sabo those who were sleeping.. At midnight, we eat again.. DUN WASTE FOOD.. this time i eat as much as i could.. after that i went to sleep as for him, he play majong again.. But dunno when, he sleep beside me... all of the 4 couple were sleeping together.. including me!

("v") I wish i could join them not to be aniti social.. But i dunno wad to start a topic!! I wish we wont quarrel that worst again.. I wish you wont break my heart again.. Thought i was drunk, but i still remember that face of your.. Deep in my heart was so hurts.. Dear u really hurts me badly.. My heart was shatted.. I give u a chance pls dun take it for granted.. I wish next time u do anything pls think of will you hurts me so deeply again?("v") 4/15/2007 11:44:00 PM

My 2nd birthday cake! Nice? I wish, i wish, i wish~~

("v") I really hate the past of you & her .. That's the only history of yours i would mind! WO HEN JIE YI!!! Cause she's the 1 who can replaced me in your heart.. Whenever hear of her, i feel so insecure.. I will feel that will lose you anytime... I dun wish to lose you to anyone! But right now, i dun have the rights to ask anything from you.. cause i dunno who am i.. wad happening to me... I'm not a good gal of yours.. I really wanna be.. but i dunno why i cant control myself for anyhow throw temper.. Forgive me dear~ ("v") 4/11/2007 11:47:00 PM

Today, he's coming for dinner with us.. However, today was surpose to buy my bed.. But all give me empty promises.. My mom was too busy with god stuff! I know she doesn't wanna go.. But she dun wanna see i unhappy she said going later.. After bring Yan back... Then i said no nid.. i asked him to go with me.. But again he take 3 hours to come end up was already 6pm... dinner was 7pm.. how to see? how to buy? I was so angry with everyone especially him made another empty promises... this time, i hide myself in my drawer.... Then after washing face, i went to amk central.. he came along.. after awhile, we back to normal.. but i still hate him! i really wans a bed badly! i dun wanna sleep on floor anymore! Then went to popular brought some A4 paper to make cards.. & brought 6 pants for yan.. Then went home had dinner.. The dinner was fun.. We was playing open number.. finish up the left over food & soup... After dinner, we both help out with folding joys paper... until he went home, i back to the room watched the idol movie.. green forest...

("v") I HATE EMPTY PROMISES!!! I HAD A UNBALANCE HEART!! THAT IS GOING FALL ON THE BAD SIDE!! Can my prince come for my rescuse? bring me to the light? ("v") 4/10/2007 11:38:00 PM

watashi no ane to imouto wa totemo baka yo! Wake me up from sleep.. Then we tried to fixed the stupid printer. Was stuck by my paper clip. Thus both of my sister keep saying me.. Cos i always nag at them.. asked them not to put anything on the printer but who knows was my fault.. So they was mocking at me.. If we asked Cannon people come help us fix have to pay &85 if not we bring over also have to pay $55 just for the stupid clip was stucked! WHY WAS I SO UNLUCKY THIS FEW DAYS?! THINGS THAT I NEED, I CHERISH WAS SPOILED!! LIKE MY MP3!! Plus i was broke.. Spend alot on our anniversary.. With the stress of my sisters, they keep laughing non stop.. mocking at me, i hardly lift my head up.. until i FIX THAT STUPID PRINTER!! i tried & tried.. used everything i could do.. But just cant get that clip out... Cant stand any more, i cried! YES! I'M A CRY BABY!! i myself cant even stand myself for crying all of the time!! When these things happened, i hope i can share with him.. However, he just woke up.. Thus alittle blur.. Wadever i said, he just keep huh huh huh? Until i shout at him... I know i was in the wrong... But i really dunno wad's happening to me!! These few days, i wasn't on good mood.. Keep getting mood swing.. Angry with myself for nothing.. Even wanna hide myself in the dark.. Hide myself from others even him & my family members.. Then i cant stand anymore, i went to get a packet of tibit hide myself in a corner eatting.. until my sister notice me i hide myself in the toilet... After awhile, i went to bed hide.. Until my mom came home help me fixs that printer problem.. i faster jumped up! So surprise that the clip drop out so easily.. I used my finger to touched the tips of the clip then i lossen & drop out.. I was put of words.. in my heart FINALLY I CAN LIFT MY HEAD UP!! @ night, had dinner with my family.. My mei treats us Fish & co.. Was not bad!!

("v") What happening to me? this few days, i was so agressive!! Everyone dun even dare to come near me.. Even him, i can feel this fear on me.. I nagged, show attitude, shouted @ him.. Which i dun even know wad i'm doing... Am i really getting depression? My heart feels~ hardly describe! I'm afraid i will hurt more deeply to those who still willing come near me & those who love me! Dear, dun come near me.. even i wish you would come to console me.. But...... i'm afraid i would hurts u without knowing.. Then said sorry which cant heal anything! ("v") 4/09/2007 11:21:00 PM

After 2 days of works, already tired like hell.. Around 3pm, i called him tell him that he can get ready to come as i'm going home.. However, 5pm, he still not here.. So i called him asked where is he.. He said he just got on the bus not long ago.. Why you always needs hours to come? at lease 2hrs.. Else more than that.. i was unhappy so i told him not to come, as he come here not awhile have to rush home.. waste money & time.. But he said wanna go dinner with me, so i let him be.. Do i have to wait all the time? And always quarrel, he will just keep quiet n dun care abt me.. or.. i dunno how to describe! i just hate the way when you r angry, upset or unhappy with me... I was so angry because, i cried yet he just look at me.. I know u dun dare to come near me.. But is the time i need you.. Then i rush to kitchen peel the pear skin.. make pear with sour plum for him.. So that when he at work, got something to eat... Then we so tired as both of us have to work.. so we took a nap.. After awhile, i wake him up.. asked him go for dinner but who knows both of us had no money at all.. my last $10 gave him 5 april 07.. As he had no money.. Then i asked him know.. But i didnt realise that the way i talk was like chasing him off... Then he went off without hugging or kissing me at all.. After awhile i realise i do have fault.. for having such a hot temper n fussy.. Then i apologize to him.. When he reached home, still accompany me play audition.. Even next day he have to go work in the morning.. Thanks dear i knwo your effort...

("v") Dunno wad happened to me! Having mood swing again... Just cant stand myself.. Can someone pls stop my life? I simply hate myself, my life, my charater.. Just end my life without getting others hurts.. Since i'm someone who slack all the time.. spend so many money of my mom.. Give so much trouble to people who loves me.. So many illness that torture me... I REALLY SICK OF MY LIFE!! ("v") 4/07/2007 11:03:00 PM

The Devils which his brother brought for us in Thailand!Take 1! with devils
Take 2! with devils
Take 3! with Yan..

("v") can we stay like this forever? Can the time move faster? I wanna to have my own family with you.. ("v") 4/05/2007 04:26:00 PM

He promised to bring Yan to Mac.. However, he overslept. When Yan was here, she keep mumble Macdonal, korkor Macdonal.. Then wake me up.. Pester me.. Have the bring her to school.. So clever of her that we hardly bluff her.. When she reached school, still keep mumbling... Then she cried dun wanna go school.. After bring her to school, i came home sleep again until got calls from him around 12pm.. I woke up and get ready.. Doll mysself up.. When he reached, he give me the present which his brother brought from Thailand.. A couple devil.. Kinda cute & a handmade card of 100 love.. Then we went off.. In bus, he told me that he dun have the money to buy me those things i wans.. I was kinda angry again.. But i understand that he dun have the money.. Only can blame he didn't take my advise.. save money every month.. In order to make me forgive him, he promised every month, he got pay, he will give me $100. Then he was making me smile.. We went to Bugis had our lunch @ KFC. After lunch, we went shopping around.. went to the Lovely Land i always will drop by when i go Bugis.. brought 5 stickets @ $9.. Then went A "N"BC brought a comic marker, E02 fruit pink & a pen refill @ $7.10. After that we went to Precious Thots, he brought a pinky debbi kitty wallet for me @ $9.90. Brought a ice-cream from Mac. Before the bus came, both of us eatting the ice-cream as fast as we could.. Took bus 7 to Orchard.. Shopped around, saw a princess dress i love @ $30. it was like too expensive and dun have the money at that moment, so next time i go back to buy it.. Then planning to watch movie.. Watched the movie @ 5.05pm. After the movie i saw a long necklace. To have more accessorise for my clothe, i wanna buy that. However, he dun hav enough money.. if he buys that, we dun have money to have dinner.. Thus, asked my sis transfer money to me.. Then we brought tat necklace @ $19.. After that we went Hereen to take photo.. Then went to Yoshinoya had dinner.. After dinner went home.. When we was @ AMK, we went to buy the snow fake as he wanna eat & brought a fries from Mac for Yan.. When reached home, Yan saw him so was happy.. He promised me 4 things today.. 1st, every month pass me $100. 2nd, try not to sleep so much. 3rd, get me surprise without me to hint him. when he make me sad or to make me happy. lastly, have time he will accompany me.



("v") I had fun today although i was not in a good mood.. Sorry if i spoiled the atmosphere. But u've tried your best to make me smile & give in.. I keep nagging but u just keep on cheer me up.. Thanks dear.. Hope we hav countless of anniversay.. Only you & me.. Lastly, dun forget the things u promised me.. Love ya loads! ("v") 4/04/2007 11:43:00 PM

Today, Hmm~ how should i say?! Kinda happy shopping, playing around ba... All we did i shopping beside that still shopping... And crapping... We met around 3pm.. He came to my house, i'm still not ready... After that we went to AMK Central had lunch at KFC again... Saw my cousin however, she pretend that she didnt saw me.. Thus, i also pretend that i didnt saw her too.. Anyway not really in good terms with them & my grandma side.. 1 word to describe them SUCKS! Then went to Orchard area... He brought a sylvania baby kitty seasaw set for me Hee! We saw a very sweet things.. screw musical box.. Next time i know where to get present for my friends... @ The better toy store for better toy.. After shopping around orchard, we went home.. Had dinner at home.. he also had dinner with us... After dinner, he went home with his present of a blanket, Adidas bag, handmade keychain & handmade card... Happy Anniversary... Hope u love those present i prepare... Love you load.. had loads of sweet memorise & talk from you =D

("v") dont know why i still feel insecure.. Keep thinking of alot of crap.. Hope tml, got loads of present from him!! Hiak hiak!! =D Happy Anniversary ("v") 4/03/2007 11:45:00 PM

Today wasn't on good mood.. However, i sleep alot.. Until 3pm plus.. Then went to buy a joy stick paper.. After praying, My sis & i went shopping.. 1stly, we went to The Cathay brought the adidas bag for him @ $65.. Then went to PS, Daiso.. brought some crap.. After that, we took bus to Raffles City as Nee wanna to buy kiehl shampoo, Wash away & leave on conditional & cleanser.. After getting wad we wanna buy, we went to suntec city brought Royce Chocolate.. So many of them i wanna eat.. Then went to carefour, brought some sushi & fruit juice After a busy day, we took bus 133 home... Reached home, we eat like a pig.. Then went to bed..

("v") I hope he will love all those present i prepare for him ("v") 4/02/2007 11:10:00 PM