5/26/2007 12:31:00 AM

Yesterday night had a chat with him about what i feels.. And know that I've been hurts by him deeply.. And our relationship can never get back how it was in the past anymore.. Yes i cried so did he.. Now i'm making coaster for my family, 3rd Aunt's family, Jie's family & friends =X Cos when i'm down & lost, i always dunno what to do.. What to do to stop my unhappiness & anyhow think.. The only think i could make myself happy when i'm down is drawing & listen to music..


Right now my feeling just like this song.. However, couldn't find this song to put in my blog... But here is it's lyric...
Janice, Wei Lan

Never let you gothe rain, just never seems to bring
the joy, I feel the same,everlasting pain of my loss remains
My heart, can't seem to learn to part
the hold you left your mark
all that I dreamed of now it seems so stark
Tho I told myself won't hold my breatha part of me was dying
there is nothing left for me to do now, but give in


If you gave me, one chance to tell you how I was feeling
I would sing to you and tell you I won't live my life without you
if you gave me, one chance to tell you how I was feeling
I would hold your hand and look in your eyes and ya know, I'd never let you go


The way, you left me on the train
I don't know what to sayI remember everything of that day
I can't, believe we'd never dance
I just need one more chance
to share the sunset our one last romance
Tho I told myself won't hold my breatha part of me was dying
there is nothing left for me to do now, but give in

If you gave me, one chance to tell you how I was feeling
I would sing to you and tell you I won't live my life without you
if you gave me, one chance to tell you how I was feeling
I would hold your hand and look in your eyes and ya know, I'd never let you go

("v") Hope he able to get back he ownself.. return me the old silly boy of mine... Will my relationship with him back to sweet, romantic, loving again? Or it will only continue to fade, cold, hurts & then left me? Will both of us touch each other's heart again? ("v") 5/19/2007 07:47:00 PM



5/13/2007 10:21:00 PM

Nothing to say much but.. words to him...

Perhaps when you read this, we may not be together anymore.. Not contacting anymore or even you can;t find me anymore.. Also there's a chance of we back to the days of sweetness...

Wonder how you feel at that time.. Is it the same as me? when she did these to u.. Ignore u just like how u did to me.. Is this the feeling u had those day? So u need to make it repeat let other know how u feel?? Did wad she gave u to me.. Is this what i should get back? I endure, endure & endure.. All i can.. Trying hard to ignore my phone.. Trying hard to sleep at this hour.. Trying not to wait for your night msg before sleep.. Trying hard not to say you anything even you dun do anything.. Trying hard to let time heals.. & go in slience.. @ lease I do put in every effort i can in this r/s.. @ lease i'm able to endure not to sms or call u.. But it's hards not to see ur msg or receive any of ur call.. If u wants to get me a bday present for 21st, I dun want anything this time.. But for u to love, care & pamper me always not a moment.. It must be lasting.. Not depending on ur mood... And not letting me stay loner anymore.. BUt it's hard to get this present.. Perhaps, it's still a another disappointment from u on my birthday.. Just like our anniversary.. Already 1 year & 39 days we have been together.. Nearing our dreams in 1 year 328 days.. Are we going part now? Destorying our dreams which both of us keep looking forward for? I even think that you fallen for other gals.. But who? Mayb ur workmate? I dunno.. I'm Lost.. Waited for ur answer for 4 days.. But didn't manage to get any answers.. And i guess i know the answer already.. I'm nobody.. I will try hard not to pester u anymore, Leave ur side as far as i can.. & let go.. But i guess it's hard for me.. Everynight when i closed my eyes, ur shadown will comes within my mind.. Seein u waving to me, hugging me.. My heart feels so hurts.. Sorry that i've made so many unhappiness to ur life...

("v") Will we back to the days where both of us are so lovely dovely? Which makes alot of people jealous of us? I wish we will.. I wish we can make it.. I wish my 21st present will come true.. I wish we can step into a new story in 1 year & 327 days... ("v") 5/12/2007 04:19:00 AM

Letter for him:

Sorry if we hav to go back the life we were in, the past. I really cant hold any futher. My heart already shatted. I noe i can never be the somebody to u.. & u will never do anything for me.. I'm Jealous of every gals who hav boyfriend who is really care abt them.. rather than slping.. How long hadn't u bring me out? watch movie? Do stupid things? Laughted on phone? Which ever thing i request from u is that really hard? Infact i think you didn't put in enough effort but slp. Sleep to ignore me.. Sleep to stop any quarrel.. But u didn't noe u've asked me to wait for you for so long.. Meantime, u hurts me as u like! Cold war with me as you love.. But where's your love? Endure is wad i did, waiting is wad i do, Miserable is wad i hav.. Now, I tell myself to let go of this warmth hands of your.. Back to the darkness i used to b.. Like wad u said.. If we have fate to be together, we will.. And you will come back to hold my hands again.. Giving me those warmth that u used to lighten up my life again.. Brings back my smile on my face again.. Dry up the tears for you & never let me feel this way again... If i'm somebody to u, u will do something if not, I'm just nobody!

LOve,
Shiori

However, i still wish our future is husband & wife.. Our dreams to comes true.. I will wait.. But when u come back, all i wants a the old you not this recent you.. Who made me in such grief, hurts, miserable & disappointed... Like how i used to wait for u alone.. Cos i really wish to be the one & only.. If you dun wanna it to comes true.. U might fall in love with others & not me.. I might be more sad than now.. But is wad i choose to walk.. i shall walk without any regret.. But there will always be a you there.. Now i understand wad my mom said in the past.. Guys might change when they went in ns.. I believe i saw with my eyes.. You really changed.. to somone i dunno.. To someone who treat me cold & hot as you like... But you still someone to me..

("v") I swear, I promise... My love for you will always be there! Must return to me.. Must come back to me... Hold me with your heart again!! ("v") 5/10/2007 03:38:00 AM

HE DARN FUC* UP!! HOW MANY TIME DO U WANNA KEEP PUTTING ME AEROPLANE? DO U KNOW I SUPER HATE THOSE FEELING?! Do u really know those feeling that u r giving me? Wadever things u say r just words n no other meaning... So u said u loved me, perhaps it's just a words.. But it's nothing to you!

Today was a very important day.. It's my mom birthday.. & he said he would come.. in the afetrnoon, he didnt really contact me.. Thus i called him.. n say we meet at 6 plus.. At my house.. End up he just nv show up.. I knew the same old excuses he will give.. I called many time.. & consider abt our relationship.. If i really mean nothing to you.. & with those words.. empty promises u gave.. IS JUST A RUBBISH!! u won't make it comes true.. So is our dreams.. Thus, i decided to put a fullstop between us.. If.. Really if i'm really mean something to u other than words, u will do something & not sitting there doing nothing.. When i came home called him, he didnt apologise.. Didnt say anything infact is NOTHING AT ALL!! I once said i wish u won't say things that u cant do it.. So is better not to tell me.. But i notice that say or not, doesn;t make a different.. Cos you will NEVER do anything for me.. Just to make me sweet.. Everything you do need me to push including coaxing me!! Think back wad have you really do for me to sweeten our relationship? or just to make me smile with ur own will & suprise for me? All i can is NOTHING!! Not Birthday nor our anniversary!! All i get from u is DISAPPOINTMENT or not complete surprise!! All you can is give me money or bring me out getting things i would want.. But you know wad i really wants you know there's million of things i wanted.. Why dun you get it for me but bring me out to choose?! I rather guess what is inside the wrapping paper... You always planned things to make me sweet but you didn't do any.. You always say will let me see let me feel & not just letting me hear... But it ends up nothing even you didn't tell me... I didn't angry that yesterday you can't make it i know you are tired.. But not today! Know how disappointed am i? Falling from a bright star from the sky... Perhaps my dreams will never comes true... U said you will cherish me & every little things i gave on the day u broke the mug, lost the braclet & almost lost the dollie.. & this is wad you call cherish? But is okay to lose you now.. Cos i'm starting to lose myself... I'm trying so hard to end my life.. Just that you dun know anything..

Anyway i had a happy dinner with my family just that some 1 was mission.. It's a incomplete dinner.. Uncle spend $178 on the dinner..

("v") End of our fairytale.. Even i dun wish to.. But it seems like i cant make any other choices.. i still believe the words.. If i'm somebody to you, u will do something if not.. I'm nobody! I must try gamble it with my heart.. Else i won't know who i am really is for you! do u really love me, cherish me? The answer will be out! ("v") 5/08/2007 10:25:00 PM

5/07/2007 11:56:00 PM

not going to say much.. Got depression... He lost the braclet & broke the donal duck cup for valentine present... almost lost the dollie key chain i've made for him... Is all this a bad symbols of us? so many things happened my mom trade in my nokia hp for $20 stupid Starhub! Have alot of worries... If there's really a bad symbols, let me die.. is the best bad things to have.. I'm really tired!

A part of conversation of us.. just wanna keep..


-= qingweiiiiiiii =- \* [ChOcOBoy]Qing * Donald Duck Goes Quack Quack Quack * [CaNdYGiR]Hurts */ Panda ("v")v") Piggie says:
sometimes
-= qingweiiiiiiii =- \* [ChOcOBoy]Qing * Donald Duck Goes Quack Quack Quack * [CaNdYGiR]Hurts */ Panda ("v")v") Piggie says:
i really thinking
-= qingweiiiiiiii =- \* [ChOcOBoy]Qing * Donald Duck Goes Quack Quack Quack * [CaNdYGiR]Hurts */ Panda ("v")v") Piggie says:
looking at myself in other shoes
-= qingweiiiiiiii =- \* [ChOcOBoy]Qing * Donald Duck Goes Quack Quack Quack * [CaNdYGiR]Hurts */ Panda ("v")v") Piggie says:
and i know there are alot of bad habits
-= qingweiiiiiiii =- \* [ChOcOBoy]Qing * Donald Duck Goes Quack Quack Quack * [CaNdYGiR]Hurts */ Panda ("v")v") Piggie says:
which i always tell myself to change
-= qingweiiiiiiii =- \* [ChOcOBoy]Qing * Donald Duck Goes Quack Quack Quack * [CaNdYGiR]Hurts */ Panda ("v")v") Piggie says:
till now.. its still there
[Hurts]Shiori ღ [Qing]Kori - says:
i myself dun wish our story to be a history
-= qingweiiiiiiii =- \* [ChOcOBoy]Qing * Donald Duck Goes Quack Quack Quack * [CaNdYGiR]Hurts */ Panda ("v")v") Piggie says:
i once told myself to let you go.. because of me you are in such a miserable state
-= qingweiiiiiiii =- \* [ChOcOBoy]Qing * Donald Duck Goes Quack Quack Quack * [CaNdYGiR]Hurts */ Panda ("v")v") Piggie says:
but i tell myself i cant let you go
[Hurts]Shiori ღ [Qing]Kori - says:
but a forever story tat will go on
[Hurts]Shiori ღ [Qing]Kori - says:
but if
[Hurts]Shiori ღ [Qing]Kori - says:
i would hurts u that deeply,
-= qingweiiiiiiii =- \* [ChOcOBoy]Qing * Donald Duck Goes Quack Quack Quack * [CaNdYGiR]Hurts */ Panda ("v")v") Piggie says:
because i really love you alot and i want you to be loved by me
[Hurts]Shiori ღ [Qing]Kori - says:
i rather choose to be alone
[Hurts]Shiori ღ [Qing]Kori - says:
taking every torns n hurts i will give u to myself
-= qingweiiiiiiii =- \* [ChOcOBoy]Qing * Donald Duck Goes Quack Quack Quack * [CaNdYGiR]Hurts */ Panda ("v")v") Piggie says:
i really dun believe we both dun suit each other
-= qingweiiiiiiii =- \* [ChOcOBoy]Qing * Donald Duck Goes Quack Quack Quack * [CaNdYGiR]Hurts */ Panda ("v")v") Piggie says:
i dun believe..

("v") I afraid of.... I afraid ppl talks behind my back! Hope it won't happen!! ("v") 5/01/2007 11:44:00 PM