on his bday that day... i tot nv gets a chance to sing birthday song for him this yr.. every yr i think i already used to it... when our birthday to hav each other by our side~ i was upset cos couln't b there for his birthday.. not even a birthday song for him... But who know he gave me a surprise... that is he meet me after what he's busy with... still b4 his bday.. we brought kaka along.. for some walk to mac.. then back.. actually i was looking for a cake or ice cream and candle.. but wasn;t able to get it.. I'm so useless~ No matter wad.. was happy ending... i tot there will b alot girls wanna celebrate for him.. i only can stand aside... but turn out wasn't the way i was thinking... I wish time could turn back to where we used to it.. But is it really possible? sometime i really wonder... Do he love me or not? There's always misunderstanding between us cos... he always like to hide things toward himself.. even when he brought up also say half way and stop... But somehow this time we manage to make things clear... Hope we stay as how we are now.. i can say is a small improvement after so many things happened!

*i wanna doll up myself!!! Hair faster grow long i wanna dye and reborn it!! and my teeth!! i wanna change my look~ by erase those ugliness! And nee! i will change myself cos of me and not others.. i wanna b happy~ Not only in looks, but everything~ i'm trying hard.. Buy me more oils to pump! 7/31/2008 03:38:00 AM

sat morning, we meet up.. he came over to my house... whenever i see him i just nv able to hold my tears... chatted alot.. is like i'm delimma now... sometime i dunno if i put the trust or not.. yet very wish to put in.. wad he said might b right... i'm not able to gib him anything he wants... not like her, her, and her... i'm really failure... i wish to erase everything and restart... But if i really keep my long hair again.. this time is for euu, everything will back to the way we used to be? I unno my mind now very messy.. i feel that i'm somebody to you also nobody to u... Really hard to guess wad r u thinking... hmm~ why am i always that weak infront of u... 愛情需要緣分.. 我們真的有嗎? 我知道我很醜! Not only in look, but inner too... 7/28/2008 12:30:00 AM

Geez i'm finding this song~ very nice

你没想象中爱我（《一切完美》片尾曲）
词：石欣卉
曲：So Million
制作：曾偉祺

你小心翼翼 牵我手
其实是担忧 藏不住我
自尊也投降 活在她之下
我 好傻

你字字句句说 你不爱她
那又是什么 让你害怕
我疑惑但是原谅 因为你留下
我 好傻

不是我不说就不在意空等候
原来 你没想象中那么爱我
我不懂该拿什么安慰我的难受
你的存在 让我更寂寞

你寸步不离 像天使的她
挥霍我的爱 从不放心上
我有一丝无奈 也有一些明白
该 放开

不是我不说就不在意空等候
原来 你没想象中那么爱我
我不能再从你的怀抱感觉到什么
不爱我别再说 假装爱那是撒盐在伤口

嗬~~ 谁说我不在意空等候
原来 你从来都没深刻爱我
我才懂不是我不心痛
其实是心没了感受

呜~~
你没想象中爱我 7/21/2008 11:50:00 PM

早已習慣一個人 走在沒有人陪的街頭
然而活了數十年 也已習慣世界的冷漠
我知道你愛我是假的 也從來沒有真心對我
然而淚都已流乾 不再讓那愛情困擾我
早已習慣一個人 遊走異國忍受著寂寞
然而我四處尋找 哪裡有愛能讓我停泊
你曾說過永遠要等我 最後還是選擇放棄我
然而一直不明白 抓住愛情難道這麼難
我愛上的人哪 從來從來沒有說愛我
我不愛的人哪 偏偏又偏偏愛著我
我喜歡的他 卻不能跟我走
只好望著鏡子裏的那個人 求你愛我 7/21/2008 05:06:00 PM

Really was the hardest days to pass.. my mind and brain keep flashing over and over againt between me & him... keep flashing back abt the past & he keep appearing in my mind.. no matter wad i have to continue with it... next monday is his birthday... i still dunno shd i do anything or just hide myself... he will ask me accompany him anot also dunno.. perhaps i'm looking forward too much.. end up is still empty... Whenever my hp rangs~ i will faster get it and like wishing is him.. But always disappointment.. so wad is him? wad can we talk about? We alreday barely talk since the day our love hav fade~ Nee i wanna show u something that u will kill me =x This are some picture of tue night~ 15 of july~

YES!! IT'S MOM's HOMECOOK STEADBOAT! MUHAHAHHAHAHA TEMPTED?

7/20/2008 08:08:00 PM

想講不要走　偏偏好勝說我哪在乎
面對世界我灑脫　一點不似太辛苦
但在漫漫長夜裡
摘下面具便重因你再心碎
我所有眼淚都彷彿因你而狂呼

原來自遠走　我方知道對妳在乎
原能留住妳心　我卻高傲不顧
現在夜夜唯後悔　但是現在像遲了一輩
我一句再會　竟會有無窮痛苦

從不喜歡孤單一個
可惜偏偏孤獨〔單〕一個
我不懂得跟我　獨自對坐
原來沒有你　做人相當痛楚
從不喜歡孤單一個
可惜偏偏孤獨〔單〕一個
你有否想起我　若是再遇
求讓我悔過　可不可再戀過

多想講你知　根本對你我最在乎
願說對不起　只可惜你已不顧
現在夜夜唯後悔　但是現在像遲了一輩
我一句再會　竟會有無窮痛苦

從不喜歡孤單一個
可惜偏偏孤獨〔單〕一個
我不懂得跟我　獨自對坐
原來沒有你　做人相當痛楚
從不喜歡孤單一個
可惜偏偏孤獨〔單〕一個
你有否想起我　若是再遇
求讓我悔過　可不可再戀過

當分開輾轉翻側思念更加多
分開方知清楚　我永不懂去再愛另一個
從來沒這般清楚

從不喜歡孤單一個
可惜偏偏孤獨〔單〕一個
我不懂得跟我　獨自對坐
原來沒有你　做人相當痛楚
從不喜歡孤單一個
可惜偏偏孤獨〔單〕一個
你有否想起我　若是再遇
求讓我悔過　可不可再戀過 7/17/2008 02:21:00 PM

Hmm~ i finally able to wake up.. really wake up from the sweet, hurts, bitter dream~ The truth is hurtsful, but at lease my heart felt lighter.. just like u know the truth of some my story, to you also that hurtsful.... I guess this few days/weeks will b the hardest day of my life... Why alway when i dun wanna turn back and take a look... but always so many things appearing to make me turn back to take a peek.. Why? why must i make myself so miserable? u not only given me those that i need... but also u get back everything i've missed or lost in the past... Now i hav a caring family, a dog i always asked for.. most imptly is those feeling i always envy/jealous in others~ Everyone got chance but not me~ Anyway gd news that alice able to patch with her ex... Hmm hope alice dun walk wrong path again... not everytime gets the chance to U-turn~ sometime u choosed on the wrong path, and there's no U-turn for euu, can only continue the journey with the mistake u've made... Mayb this is the wrong path that he & i choosed... our dreams; shattered, our wishes; destroyed, Our promises; Never fulfill, Our love; No U-Turn!

*i'm getting stronger... i tot i will b drinking for a couple of days... crying a couple of nights.. But I DIDN'T!!! i also dunno how i able to make it.. Cheers! But i just wanna b alone... so dear friends who care abt me, pls pls pls dun call me/look for me for the time being... i just wanna heal it myself.. without anybody's help.. i'm perfectly fine! i know i hav grp of gd, caring, close friends... When mom knows abt wad happened to me & him, mom was so ji tong~ she say my daughter so special/gd *mussy~*.. is their lost and scolded them KAM GONG!!~ she's also saying korkor~ =X Well i guess i'm tired & sick of falling and trying over and over again.. So i guess i won't getting involve in r/s for some time ba... GANBATTE!! =D 7/15/2008 02:10:00 PM

7/14/2008 09:07:00 PM

hmm~ manage to find out the problem... so my sense is right! From the begin, From alittle of change everyday towards me... it also shows that his love for me alittle by alittle decrease~ Hmm~ he said last mth he gave a girl a chance... and that's is wad i nid now... Tears can't stop falling, blood also can't stop dripping! But i nv regret to make any decision... Like i said! now i only can see his backview from a far distance... i'll just nv catch up anymore.. i guess he also wont slow down... Is this means wadever he said to me is just coax? asking me to wait for him, said will giv me a better life? i always wish to see him holding agirl's hand if he really stop loving me.. cos it might stop my heart from searching 4 him.. or catch up with him! u said... chances not only once.. is many... U know is not all.. i've nv been in love with some 1 that madly.. but all i wan is to see his smile... the smile he always shows me.... Before we tgt, and wans to b ur girl, i also only wan this.. i wan, the guy i love most to b happy always! i jus dun understand why is the feeling suddenly pop up again? Aww~ guess i'll b drinking for sometime again~ until i'm sick of it, and gets to heal myself again! Thanks QW, tot our wishes may bot b fulfill, but u r the 1 who entered my past.. and managed to heal everything... my nightmare of childhood, the neglect of a childhood and everything... and leave a most sweetest life, story, history, memories wadever is it to me... He's free~ and so do i! i wont get stuck with that qns anymore! Aww~ i go le~ when feel liek blogging again then blog bahh! I'M SICK AGAIN! last week also lidat after work fall sick!

*I ever had the most sweetest story, in my life.. and that is when i hav euu by my side... i guess i wont b able to taste that sweetness again! I do cherish every single thing u gave... Did i manage to leave some sweet footsetp 4 u too? i wish u would know my feelings when u start to neglect me~

7/13/2008 06:08:00 PM

i feel abit emo now.. erm shd b more than abit.. so i will b posting some of my thoughts ~

7/12/2008 11:52:00 AM

7/09/2008 10:52:00 AM

Hmm~ nth to blog today.. so gonna post some photo...

Now i'm presenting you most kawaii(cute) photo:

*Yes! and this is my kawaii(cute) kaka!

Wait keep look on~

And now, i'm presenting you migurushii(ugly) Photo:

*wahahaha!! YUHOO! this is my migurushii(ugly) sis! =x MUHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

7/08/2008 12:04:00 AM

Ok! on sat 5th july, i went to slp at 1pm++ work up at 3.30pm.. went to bath and rush out to meet up those guys.. Hmm let me recall who is where... Dudu, Monkey, Ironhide, Xiang, Zephyr, Tiger, Alls, Kewl, Lifeless, Asthn, DevilGiRl & of cos me... we went for dinner @ cityhall... We slack there for sometime.. then we went to suntec.. wanted watch movie but some of them cmi.. ended up we didn't watch too... Jie & i went to buy some soft toy for kaka(end up i'm using it than kaka) Then back to arcade.. After sometime Smallsalt, Bk, Noover & slowdart came... All we do is nua there for a fews hr.. Hmm~ gets to talk to salt again~ hmm nth much le...

And 6th july, i nv go work.. Thus Jie, Yan & i went to hav breakfast @ market.. Had kay chap.. Then went home slack awhile and went to bed... slp till 6.30pm~ Jie always disturb me slping de... Hai~ then went amk centre with jie... went to collect my spectacle, brought the memory card for mom~ Then met Sean for dinner.. Had pepper lunch.. I'm so moutain tortise sia... It's my 1st time eating that... Jie was playing with teh ice-cream... when i'm not lazy then post the disgusting photo of jie... after dinner, we went home... dunno why i feel so restless, yet tired! 7/07/2008 04:56:00 AM

7/04/2008 01:18:00 AM