Today:


went out with a friend working in sentosa... After so much talk, i wish i can join sentosa sales retail! Sound fun sia!~

The ugly ones~

Some other HK photos from my sis camera:











9/30/2008 03:55:00 AM

today was supposed to b a happy day for me! but was spoiled by a stupid, childish girl... even tot my sisters helped me handle this matter, but why isn't him?! WTF! 1 misunderstanding create so much trouble! Always got this problem! Is it cos i dunno how to fight for myself? Or cos i'm sucks in english? REALLY PISSED ME OFF MAN! i hate it!! The 1 i wish could help me is him! But wad he does is sighing!! which makes me feft so helpless, as always! WTF! nvm~ @ lease i got my sisters!! WAD A LUCK! WAD A BAD DAY!!

Went to hav dinner with Jin! drank some beer with him~ Then walked home lo~

*i think i really break down... And i drank alot! I'm a dumb ass! Small matter made me drink this much! 9/28/2008 02:06:00 AM

Hmm~ I think is another disappointment for him... Sry i dunno y i just draw a line in between us automatically... i did try lerrr... but the feeling is still lack of alot of things dun u think so? mayb is cos now de silly girl no longer that girl who relay on u that much lerr... U make a perfect bf but i dun anymore... we hav been dragging for years.. like u said u dun wish to left go of someone who u hav been so many yrs... is that a habit or love?

Anyway watch movie; Connected As usual! If i'm watching some exciting/scary show, i need to grab something on my hands... And if is him, i always grab his hands~ until my hands sweating hurhur~ If not i think my phone will hav alot noise again~ Cos i will grab my phone as hard as possible.. HURHUR~~ Hmm~ Not bad larr that show... After that we walk back to my house... stay @ void deck and had some chat~ Then i went home... 9/27/2008 02:35:00 AM

Hmm~ I missed his sms! i wanted to sms him.. But he would ignore me!! Why god hav to treat me this way? he gave me friends but slowly took it away! He took all the trust in myself and in anything... Everything was getting in my way.. Like Jin said... i'm already picking myself up now.. dun fall again... So wad?! i'll still running on the same track! and fall again... It's recycling! I'm really sick of running, falling and climbling up the hole again! I'M TIRED!!! But who'd cares? will there b someone appearing and carry me run while i get some rest? NO! i won't!

Jin, you made me realise alot of things.. made me somehow awake of my Illusion & Hallucination world... I already half awake and realise how ugly i am, how ugly the world is! It's far from miserable... It's make me dun dare to get my eyes open up.... I'm a empty shell now really! A girl without love, trust, faith, without anything.. Not even tears or smile... But somehow u appeared, did help me colour some part of my life! Ur care is more than any friends would gave... Will u really not give up such a ugly and negative girl? Will u b the 1st closest guy friend i ever hav? Just 1 will do!

我都已經死心了..
我累了, 真的累了!老天阿!
可以不要在玩我嗎? 放過我吧! 9/26/2008 06:01:00 PM

Wad's the most scary drug in this world?

This drug can makes a person really happy, angry, emotions, melts everything it can give... And it's not against the law... But when the drug take off u will find urself with alot injuries... without knowing how you get yourself injuried so badly...sometime suffered from depression or some ppl might end their life bcos they can't take it... If u were once take too much of this drug, u might dun hav the courage to take the 2nd time....


Make a guess wad drug is that?! 9/24/2008 11:29:00 PM

went sentosa with mei, jie and my darling: Charcoal! LOL! Hmm~ now abit tanned le ba... When pic is up will upload again... Today kinda emo T.T i dunno wad i'm thinking~ like got endless of things to think..Nvm~ party time!!! CHILL CHILL~~~ =D

Why am i always running on the same track? He smsed me back! i tot i told myself that time is my last time? But why am i still.... I'm helpless it come to him... No matter how he treat me.. i still will give him chance... Cos i just wanna b his only girl! Will i? i dunno!! Somehow the trust in him has fade away~ This time is see himself le... if really can't then i wont waste his time anymore... let him get some1 to love her more than i do~ Heart will break! Like i also do... But the love for him is always there! I hope he knows where the problems lies... Qing! Is usless to lock me up for now... cos i'm not that silly girl le.. if u wan protect me and get our love back.. just join me where ever i wanna go... even with my friends! I wish u were there! I'm selfish too! I HATE TO SHARE WITH ANYONE!! but i dun hav to right to speak wad i wan from u!

One week time for us! If really can't i wont hold back anymore... I'll let go and set u free... u can choose who to love and she will love u more than i do! Really i mean it! It mayb hurtsful but i wanna see ur smile! And for me? i will single for a period of time... Until the next person come can move my heart like u do.. If not nvm~ i can stay with my mom forever till old and die~ Lets work out 1 last time.... I dunno if u read my blog! But hint and everything u can find it here! 9/24/2008 12:15:00 AM

Here's a msg for u Nonsense!

I dunno how to tell u or let u know... Cos i really dun wish to hurts u.. As i care abt how u feel... To b frank, i dun hav those feeling towards u~ i really do wans u as a special friend of mine... just like u can b my sister i can b ur bro that kind of friendship.. i can;t stop u from missing me or falling for me... It's really unfair for you if i dun let u know how i feels... But i wish all swt memories could just stop here.. Let me hav the most wonderful, sweet fairytales just once.. can i? i dun wanna end up turn into hurtsful memories for u or me.... If i ever give u any wrong impression, i'm really sry! i wish our friendship could last. That's y i wish i'm a guy so, all this won't happen.

Why god seems to fool ppl around?
The 1 i wish he to love me, i guess he can nv love me anymore!
The 1 i wish is a special friend to me... One and only! It also seems hard...

Why does the things i wan always end up in the opp ways?
Why the things i wans always is the hardest to get?


i really do cherish our friendship, i love you to be with u cos i feel that i'm myself! Is those kind of friendship love.... Not more than that~ i dun wanna see u upset! But i'm hurting you!! URG!!! WHY??! u really do deserve a better girl, Jin, i'm really sry~ 9/23/2008 02:12:00 AM

Well well well! i lazy to type too many wordys words.. so i'll just post some photos ba! Happy times always pass so fast... Really HAPPY to hav my girls and some 1 i can share my tots~ u know who u r.. i dun need to say right nonsense =x!






9/21/2008 07:38:00 PM

Hmm~ Ytd went out chill again... just him! I did manage to cried out alittle.. Hmm~ A unforgetable windy night~ I dun wanna lose any more friends or gd memories due to love~ I wanna stay how we r right now.. As it's always sweet in the begining! I dun wanna hurts u... I dun wanna get myself hurts as well... i just wanna my friends to b happy... i wanna see smile from all my friends face~ That's the precious gift for me... Cos i simply love and care abt them! Sry to make u upset, sry to disappointed.. But i promise if u ever need hug, and ears i'll always there for u~ Every words i told u ytd i mean it REALLY!... Perhaps i dun wanna gets hurts from love anymore! it's far from hurtsful gua! Really not rdy for any~ Mayb someday i may changed myself from sua gu, gd girl to bad.... But i will nv hurts my mom... somehow forget wad i told u ytd... but i feel every words really comes from my heart! i realise without his love, i'm no longer feel emptiness...~ I feel i hav even more love, care, attention and everythings from ppl who care for me.... Aww~ BIG HUG to all of them i love!!! SHOSHO!!!


9/20/2008 02:25:00 PM

hmm~ 2 days nv update...

i'll start with tue... went to orchard with family.. Ah yi also went~ shop around... Accompany mom go buy Gucci wallet for someone special! Hee! Also SkII.. my mom is like so pamper us... Still i was somehow emo-ing, and having headache... Fun thing was my hp nv stop ringing =D it has been sometime my hp haven't b so busy le~

Wed, i tot gonna stay at home de... But hav to meet him pass him the elva showcase... He couldn't make it~ And just nice gonna meet up Nicole and Miko in the night... I met Nicole 1st @ MS her working area~ then after her work we went to look for miko~ They really look pretty~ Unlike me... still mountain tortise~ gonna step out and see the world larr~ 9/18/2008 10:54:00 AM

Hee~ Time to update my blog again!!

I've think thru le ba~ somehow happy with my decision.. i won't turn bad and make him regret... but turn happy and pretty~ =D went swimming with mei, jie & yan... joan was supposed to b there de.. last min cancelled~ was laughing non stop until stomach pain on a ti ko pek.. laughed until couldn't swim~ Then i told my sis something stupid.. "Next time if u scare will drown, drink more gasy drinks" Cos ur stomach will hav alot gas, then u won't drown.. HURHUR!! Somehow i wish fri faster come... dunno y also~

If i'm an empty shell, wad will u fill me with?
laughter? love? money? or wad other things can fill me up? 9/15/2008 11:11:00 PM

After so many things, i've think alot... I know long ago that the 1 he love is her not me! He keep building wall or anything in between me & him~ No matter how much i tried to catch, is still the same... And so, wad am i really holding on? Empty shell? Coldness from him? i dunno either~ And realise that from the start he's not the 1 who is hurting me.. But is me, i myself who is hurting myself.. When i saw her msg... when i saw that receipt... when i saw everything~ His lies, his secret, his heart...

I dunno wad i really wan now.....

Just drag on.. till the day i'm really tired and fall very badly... and earse all swt memories~ All the love and feeling~ That's the day i set myself free~ I'm gonna give myself 2 weeks to heal myself~ hopefully i can do that!

URG! i really hate wad and how i'm feeling now... really sucks from the begining! I really wish i die in next min! Give car bang! Choke to death! cry to death! laugh to death! Sleep to death... I tired to look on bright side BUT REALLY CMI LARRRR! Why why why why so unfair to me? Aren't i'm gd enough for euu? If u love the old me then why changed me till lidat! not only u hate the present me I ALSO HATE OK?! I really hate to myself when remove my MASKK!!! I wanted and always protect u with all i can! I protect the 1 i love yet, i'm hurts by protecting it!!! Why i did put in so much effort in everything more than 2 yrs! Can b replace by others so easily? If only if u have the courage to end my life! i sure will do it! it's foolish, stupid... Wadever~ i just hate all this shit happening on me! She gets everything from him... and me? wad i get? U rich or poor i dun mind! Take bus or got car to sit on, i dun give a damn! All that matters me is UR LOVE FOR ME! UR CARE FOR ME! UR ATTENTION! i always seeking for it... however i nv gets to go near of it b4....


I REALLY DUNNO WAD AM I HOLDING ON IN THIS R/S NOW!!!


can someone slap me up? or kill me straight away! I dun wanna hurts myself anymore... i dun wanna find anymore answers/truth! 9/14/2008 03:20:00 PM

Just got home not long along from sentosa! Thx to ytd dead drunk, cried so much. end up i wasn;t able to get up on time~ PLUS! eyes swollen~ Thus, i went sentosa without make up and a ugly eyes! OMG!! LOOK LIKE GHOST! here r some photos... hope kaka enjoy her 1st time @ beach






9/13/2008 05:30:00 PM