❤Syrup™

Thursday, October 30, 2008

Thu 30 Oct 08:
Today i work without my soul... michelle can tell that i'm unhappy... barely see me smiling~ I cut my finger while working. Worst part is i dunno how i cut it until i feel the pain. And the hangover was so bad until i hardly work... Sometime i just can;t control anything! If he can go this kind of place why can't i? Besides i'm going to some peaceful place to chill! I didn't anyhow do any things...
Aww~ i'm back to the same square... I'm still alone walking over and over the same place.... A smoker need time to quit smoking.... so am i.. if i still unable to let go those hurts i'll still continue drinking and numbing myself or torture myself....! Since u can;t accept for who i am... i can;t help... i love euu i didn't restrict you from smoking, drinking, chilling, club-ing, anything!~ I'm just purely drinking not other than that.. why can't u accept it?
U r the only one is always special in my eyes... It makes me can't realise who is with me.. cos i simply wans is ur love & care that's all!! If we didn;t get back, i wont disappoint euu or upset euu.. I'm dumb & stupid!! overall, i'm sorry! truly sorry!

*The little wish of mine that can nv come true!

Wed 29 Oct 08:
Took off today cos dudu coming sg... met zx for dinner then wait for dudu... Went to timbre chill! i didn't drink that much like that time... But i was freaking drunk... he came to fetch me escort me home... When i reached home, i was crying crazily.... hugging my mom cried as loud as i can... Haven been hugging her like this for dunno how many of years le... i rmb i did that when i was still a kid... my mom console me... She didn't scold me but showing her love to me... And there's 2 friends who really do care abt me... came all the way to my house.. they wanted go fetch me but dunno how qing already there! Tml meeting jon.. he's showing me a pretty car... I guess like wad they said... i drink with a unhappy mood.. that's y i drunk easily! SHITs! another ugly side... 這次我把我的辛福給悔了! 我們約定的辛福也沒了! 因為我還是不能改掉喝酒的係貫... 我是笨蛋嗎?!

*Forget to take photo with zx and dudu!!

--Dumdum wants to live in her fairytales, FOREVER --

10/30/2008 10:07:00 PM

Wednesday, October 29, 2008

Sun 26 Oct 2008:

Supposed to meet qing de.. but he put my aeroplane again... So i went out with xiang, monkey, spectre, Alls for dinner... then we watch movie... Qing did called and apologise~ haha~ BUT HE GO PUB! =(

My darling Charcoal!

Mon 27 Oct 08:
Also supposed to meet him after work de.. but my sis came down and we close early so i cancelled.. My sis tried the salad and said was delicious and really is a healthy diet!! When we was on our way home i treat them ice-cream @ the city link!! =( really sad & disappointing larr!!

The mango ice-cream!

My supper! red wine~

Tue 28 Oct 08:
Finally we met! when to hav my fav ice-cream and some shopping with him after work... he came down to my work place with 2 surprise!! 1 stitch and another 1 is angel!! =D then he escort me home~ After dinner, my mei help me with the hair dye!

my working area!

everyday a meal of salad.. a healthy diet!

The surprise from him!

--Dumdum wants to live in her fairytales, FOREVER --

10/29/2008 01:52:00 AM

Sunday, October 26, 2008

Sat 25 Oct 08:
I tot today will b going out with qing after work... Who knows i got put aeroplane again.... Made me go doll my myself... just for him! HAI! DUMB!!!! Then i went shopping myself... saw many swatch watch dam freaking beautiful!! i wish i can buy all!!! =x and now, i'm going slp!! tada~~ i know i hav alot typo or broken english... just pardon me... my brain is not working anymore!

Fri 24 Oct 08:
After work met Jin again... He accompany me drink.. and took nightrider home... Sry for ps euu!! But i'm some kind of drunk.. dun wanna let u see it~ Qing called while i was with him... and seem unhappy.... But he got no time for me!

Thu 23 Oct 08:
Work till both legs pain and giddy.. due to long hrs of working, not enough of slp, skipped my meals.... Jin came to bring me home.. How nice of him ho? As always i've anything bad, he will b the 1 helping and standing by my side... I guess even if i was the 1 on fault he'll still stand on my side... Then i pass him the present... a precious moment figuring~

wednesday 22 Oct 08:

He came fetch me after work... And i hav a urge to drink... feel emo out of sudden... wasn't that successful in work today... Mayb i'm sensitive like always... But qing qing got me a stitch's gf... which i wish to get it when i 1st saw her! he spend around $25 on that... was almost give up.. then it gave up @ the very end... Reached home chatted with mt family till i cried... he also brought alot of food for my darling~

--Dumdum wants to live in her fairytales, FOREVER --

10/26/2008 01:20:00 AM

Wednesday, October 22, 2008

monday 20 oct 08:
1st day @ work, clumsy, blur, stone!!! i dunno wad to do..~ But somehow i guess i will use to it... my qing qing came to fetch me after work.. and brought along 2 creature with him! he came with 1 @ 1st... that's my surprise while i'm still washing bowls..... *SMILE!* Then after work he brought me to those machine area again.. and got the 2nd creature! While we walk to city link, we tried the ice-cream! WOW!!! WAS SO YUMMY!! I LOVE IT!!!!!! we got a place to finish those yummy food! Then he fetch me home again =D

Tueday 21 Oct 08:
Work and work and work! BUT was fun and happy!!! I love working there!!! i love my boss! She's the sweetest boss i've ever met! work till 9pm.... from today on i'm gonna work mon-fri 8am~10pm.... i'm a bull right? yea i know!! Happy working~~~ Hope tml still the same working happily~ everyday happy days @ work!!

--Dumdum wants to live in her fairytales, FOREVER --

10/22/2008 12:06:00 AM

Monday, October 20, 2008

Sun 19 Oct 08:

Worked half day at uncle's shop... got home and catch some nap.. then went for some briefing on my new job.. and gonna start in the morning @ 8am... Hopefully nothing goes wrong~ Lady Boss was superb friendly, pretty & nice lady... After an hr of briefing, i went to Aussino and brought body pillow for me & my sis... But realise was too heavy that i couldn't bring home alone... Luckily, He's there for me to help me carry that 2 BIG BODY PILLOW home... while waiting for him, i had burger king for dinner... I didn't hav much appetite... Thus, wasted the food...

My Stomach dam painful. Almost fainted due to the pain!

The moment when i saw him, it makes me smile!

Then he bring me to those catching plushie machine.. and got me a dancing grey stitch!! Everybody is staring at me holding on to that stitch! He always got ways to make me smile from the heart... Then we shop around... but was too heavy so, i decided to go home... Didn't manage to get my white clothes....

It has been sometime he didn't scold me for carrying heavy things nor accompany me home.. Today we did... As usual, once he got in the bus, found ourselve a sit, he'd adjust the air con for me, then he'd hold me in his arms to keep me warm.. Simply can't forget the feeling whenever i'm in his arms...

He and his darling!

--Dumdum wants to live in her fairytales, FOREVER --

10/20/2008 12:30:00 AM

Saturday, October 18, 2008

Hmm~ today met eze @ ps in the afternoon.. Treat him swensen and passed him his birthday present... Alittle feeling unwell due not enough slp~ met qing for movie and some shopping... i wasn't well until i vomit and lost appetite... After the movie, qing sent me to the mrt and he went for work.. It that another lied? yet i'm still wanna believe in him... silly right? I'm back to the circle... The reason i couldn't let any other guys to enter my life, cos of him! No matter how better they r, my heart has been stolen by him... I guess i won't b really able to fall in love with any other guy... except him! And realise, i only tried to close up my eyes, telling myself that i've left the circle between us.. But when i open up my eyes, i'm still in the same circle of ours...

*I finally got a goal/aim/dreams... By the age of 30, i wanna own a pub... And by the age of 38, i wanna to own a club* Now i got sometging to work hard for...

--Dumdum wants to live in her fairytales, FOREVER --

10/18/2008 11:08:00 PM

Ah! i'm running late~~ to sleep!! haha~ no choice ley gotta finish some birthday card and wrapping up my nonsense present~ After finished with those... hav to fill up my stomach before i goes to bed.... I'm tired... tml meet ezekiel @ 11am... gonna treat him lunch~ Hopefully i wont b late or over slept..

Wanna wish Tam & Ezekiel happy birthday in advance just incase i forget~

Well~
Today went out with Jin again.. Erm~ shd say he accompany me to buy some of my darling foods and Ezekiel's bday present.. Then went to hav our dinner at yoshinoya~ got nth to do/shop.. Thus we head back to amk~ Chill there.. just 1 bottle only.. cos i really wanna cut down.. Always chatted with him until i cry.. i feel so embarassed and useless~ i keep saying wanna drink when reached home... I did! but is chinese TEA!

*somehow i feel that in life everything is fragile... We human often destory any relationship with words or actions!* Friendship, Kinship, relationship is the hardest to protect!! So NSY, pls speak with ur brain from now on!

*i wish my english did improve!*

--Dumdum wants to live in her fairytales, FOREVER --

10/18/2008 04:14:00 AM

Thursday, October 16, 2008

Wed 15 oct 08:

I'm freaking emo today!!! i dunno why!? I'm unable to control my emotions, temper & the way i speak... I'm behaving so weird & mean! I let Jin know too much abt me & my feelings... I think is some kind of hurts towards him ba.. Gd things is he still willing to be by my side supporting me in wadever decision i've made.... i almost blow up as more and more things happened recently~ Infact i can say nth happens but i dunno why i feel so emo, easily agitated & pissed off! Going insane soon~ Wanted stop drinking for sometime, end up i'm still drinking... I wanna draw some new picture for myself soon~ The topic is Real & Fake Hurts!

Jin, i dun wish to hurts u.. I guess now i'm able to manage any obstacle. Or am i used to b fighting alone with the obstacle? i'm no longer depend on my bf too much.. somewhat, able to survive without guys.. So, when i'm unhappy, hurts, feeling emo etc etc etc.... I'm already used to face it alone...

This would be another lonely long night!
There used to b someone who is still awake @ this hr, never fail to sms me, occupied me with smses... When i really feel unhappy like now, he'd drive me around sg.. In his car, i'm quiet as always.. Yet he'd keep that atmosphere warm... he'd talked and drive till he send me home... But somehow everything fade without a reason.. And i've lost a friend like him... Frankly speaking he might be another guy who's able to move me & my life!
I cherish ppl may not b the one who cherish me!

I love this picture!

--Dumdum wants to live in her fairytales, FOREVER --

10/16/2008 01:07:00 AM

Wednesday, October 15, 2008

Monday 13 Oct 08:
Erm~ Went out with him... He came to fetch me then we took train to city hall... At 1st we both still cold war.. barely & hardly talk~ After some crap we start to bickering again... As usual he loves to buwee me! And i like to fight back =x We saw a shop selling very delicious ice-cream! I must try it next time~ We went to MS to shop... i brought a pinky bag... he brought a t-Shirt from revoltage where Nicole work.... Had some chat with my pretty babe~ i wish we will b able to meet up for chill again~ I didn't manage to see my pajamas shop!!! SOB~ So we walked all the way to timbre and chill.. He order white wine.. After chill out, he sent me home.... *didn't manage to take a photo* hAi~

--Dumdum wants to live in her fairytales, FOREVER --

10/15/2008 12:59:00 AM

Monday, October 13, 2008

ARG! i dunno why i feel this way again... See! got disappointment again ho? but lucky not that much disappointment like b4.... I feel the emptiness and unhappiness again! I dunno why my heart is aching! I tot i told myself not to trust? i know there's surely something's wrong with me.. i dunno wad is it! the old me is returning again! I DUN WANNA THAT TO HAPPEN!! I wanna continue being contented, smiling, no temper, cheerful me! AND NOT THIS STUPID ME!!!

I also dunno why am i talking/asking "Nonsense" abt some weird stuff.. or do some stuff for me! I hope i'm not relay on him too much! i dun wanna fall down due to relay on friends or anyone else!! i wanna be independent!!! Somehow i'm drafting apart from some friends already! Hopefully when i start work on wed, everything will back to normal~ i wan to see that happy & cheerful Hurts again!

--Dumdum wants to live in her fairytales, FOREVER --

10/13/2008 12:24:00 AM

Sunday, October 12, 2008

I simply love this song!

I got your letter

From the postman

Just the other day

So I decidedTo write you this song

Just to let you know

Exactly the way I feel

To let you know

My love's for real

Because I love you

And I'll do anything

I'll give you my heart

My everything

Because I love you

I'll be right by your side

To be alive

To be your guy

If you should feel

That I don't really care

And that you're starting to lose ground

Just let me reassure you

That you can count on me

And that I will always be around

Because I love you

My heart's an open door

Girl, won't you please come on in

Because I love you

I'll be right by your side

To be alive

To be your guy

If you should feel

That I don't really care

And that you're starting to lose ground

Just let me reassure you

That you can count on me

And that I will always be around

Because I love you

My heart's an open door

Girl, won't you please come on in

Because I love you

I'll be right by your side

To be alive

To be your guy

--Dumdum wants to live in her fairytales, FOREVER --

10/12/2008 07:51:00 PM

Friday, October 10, 2008

ARG!!! TIRING!!!! Lazy to type.. just came back from dinner at Crystal jade ginseng chicken..

Aunty and her daughter!

Mom BBQ-ing

WAHAHAHH =x

Ugly!

Both aunty busy BBQ-ing!

Full of food on the table!

Birthday girl holding a meat!

My mom's trademark! And she still say
it taste better this way!

--Dumdum wants to live in her fairytales, FOREVER --

10/10/2008 08:57:00 PM

Thu 9 Oct 08:
Whole day slack at home... Done afew of the housework... dunno why i'm so lazy nowadays! Hopefully when i start work, the hardworking me appear again.. Went for a vaccination... So painful larr! Left arm can't even raise up... Dunno why this few days keep dream if Nonsense! Hey NONSENSE stop haunting me =x Somehow those dream always makes me feels that no matter happy or sad, there will b someone always be with me.. and protect me! Especially towards lonely! *In the dreams larr i dunno in realistic is it the same anot =x*

--Dumdum wants to live in her fairytales, FOREVER --

10/10/2008 03:51:00 PM

Thursday, October 09, 2008

Wed 8 Oct 08:

Wanted go get my jacket changed but slack and nua at home till evening.. Then jin accompany me to get the jacket changed... Awww~ i'm late for 30mins!! After changing the jacket, we went to hav dinner @ ps burger king~ Went to Heeren, Balcony bar and chill.... Can say that this time their service SUCKS! When we took the train home, i giv my sits to a old lady... so my friend wanna giv his sit to me! But got this AUNTY so self motive sia! She just sat it... then act like slping..

So the EVIL me, took her picture wahahaahahah =x

TADA!!!! SHE's THAT AUNTY!!

--Dumdum wants to live in her fairytales, FOREVER --

10/09/2008 12:23:00 PM

Tuesday, October 07, 2008

Tue 7 Oct 08:
After check out, we went to siloso beach... it's my 1st time playing roller blade, that i fell twice.. Now got ugly scar on my hands... my another 1st time was canoeing *dunno how to spell it* Tot i dunno how to swim.. But i still play... WAS REALLY FUN!!! End of the day wad i got in myself in injuries... load of injuries... *Pls if u @ sentosa, PLS DO NOT LITTER ESPECIALLY GLASS STUFF!* got some cut there from those broken glasses and rusty staple bullet! Hope i wont got any infection after so many cuts... AWWW! now bodyaches.....

Mon 6 Oct 08:
Stupid course, takes up my whole day... Cannot go suntan with jie & mei... After the course is abt 8.30pm, rush to orchard and buy cake and breads.... Then rush to sentosa for the chalet... At midnight, we wanted to go to the pub and chill, but was closed... So we went to 7-11 and buy some beer... Had some beer b4 we went to slp... Somehow was a gd chat with my slibing! Love it... Next yr my birthday gonna hav party at sentosa.. Either @ Sentosa Resort or chalet.. depends ba! But gonna ask those fun ppl along.. those dun wanna go also nvm! I'm sick of keep asking others... i wanna go chill in the night @ sentosa! Really a nice place to relax and enjoy!

Sun 5 Oct 08:
After work, when i reached home.. found my clothing is in kaka's cage including that adidas jacket i just brought.. with some damage some more! So sad! Gonna change that jacket i guess...

Sat 4 Oct 08:
Went to hav movie with jie & mei... Watched connected for the 2nd time hahah! Then shop around cos our outing last min cancelled... Brought the Adidas jacket i wanted....

Friday 3 Oct 08:
When i woke up, my mei already made alot of sushi for us~ But i dun hav much appetite.. So just ate afew~ Meet Qing later on.... for dinner and chill... While waiting for him.. i went to shop around... Brought alot of things spent abt $300... When he reached, he accompany me go buy my mei's birthday present.. Spent $88 on a perfume... Then went KFC for dinner after that is balcony bar for chill... Then met mom at CCK control station... went to some religion stuff~ After met Jin for chill at playground..

--Dumdum wants to live in her fairytales, FOREVER --

10/07/2008 06:41:00 PM

Thursday, October 02, 2008

Finally i got a job! Gonna start work after next week... Gonna b busy again~

Hmm~ not gonna blog much. Cos i dam tired~ post some photo of wad monkey brought for us in japan!! Yummy!