last night, i was so drunk yet i can't gets to slp! My brain & mind was him! Words from my friends "you are stupidest girl i've ever know! do you think he's still love you after everything?" And right! since then he haven't been saying the 3 words to me.. The 3 words he used to said so much when he looked into my eyes~ I'm thinking alot on how am i chase him back or i'm just annoying him? Should i just leave him alone? Then what those kisses and hugs from him? i dunno!! Was those action more than words from him? To think back he nv smoke infront of me cos he doesn't wanna destory the image or dun wanna hurts me.. And what's that? I prayed hard to get brain cancer, anything that i can die within a year or a month! My head is bursting i'm no longer know who am i.. What i'm thinking~

Sweet words are just a find of coax. We can't find it in realistic. I notice i've deleted all those sweet words he used to tells me.. Tell me Qing the 3 words is not just words! But somehow now those are just sweet talk! There's no more "love" in my dictionary until someday mayb it's u again to fill it up my dictionary~ To chase you back! i wonder how when u've close down every entrance of your heart and youself.. i'll just nv able to get near to you!

Anyway thanks to Nicole and Miko! Hopefully they are fine too! 1/31/2009 09:24:00 PM

okay i'm drunk enough to tell my story....


i've a bad childhood! Being a crybaby, i almost get kill by my dad when i was 3.. the one who saved my life was my elder sis. she was half asleep when my mom wake her up and said "i'm going die" She stood up and shouted at my dad "LET GO!" And so he did! Both my dad and mom wanted to kill me so much i wonder why~ *i know i'm not loveable* When i was in my mom stomach swimming, she's tried all kinds of ways to get rid of me.. But when i was born, i had alot of illness and had to stay in the container for 6mths in order to survive..

Since after the incident, my mom decided to divorce with my dad.. When my dad was beaten up by some guy. It was my mom and us to look after him on those days.. Reason being beaten up was the 3rd party's family... "that girl" However when we moved out of that house, my mom took her 3 daughters with her without a single cent.. Not even the money from the house! Since she had married him, she didn't get or spend a single cent from him.. That day, when we moved out, "that girl" was at my house siting on the master room bed watching us moved out.. And my dad didn't hold back my mom nor us but he said something "The stupidest things is bringing up kids.. and to bring those stupid kids up i think you (pointing at my mom) hav to b hostess or Prostitude." without a single word my mom took us leaving that house. And we've been moving from house to house... From my aunty after another. Eventually we went to my grandma house... i was always getting the scolding by maid, aunties, uncles or grandma.. By then my mom was working in a factory of "APPLE" So by the time she reached home, we was sleeping when we woke up she's already in the factory...

2 years later, we moved to a shop called Econ minimart.. We stay there, eat there, played there... The place was like not more than a house when in the middle of sleep some cockroaches will crawl over ur body or so... But at lease we had proper meals everday and $2 of pocket money.. We only ate Mac once or twice a year.. When in school, we always wore my sis old school uniform 1 after another, the bag we carried was thrown away bag by others... i started to steal money from the cashier and brought new bags, wallet, pencil case, pencil, pen and so on for myself and my younger sis.. As soon as my mom know, for the 1st time she warned me 2nd time throw me out of house 3rd time almost chop of my hands with a knife but ended up she use the knife and poke into my flesh of my palm! And so if anything went missing my name could heard everywhere in that family! I'll get scolding form everyone! When i didn't do anything thing! I'm not loveable, everyone hates me that i always seeking for attention! Wanted everyone to acknowledge me!

As we grow older my mom notice that we need a proper house to stayed in and so using her hard earned money she ran a room flat from the goverment and after a few years she brought us a house *the one we staying on now.* The money she used was her hard earn money.. Sleep at 1am and wake up at 5.30am to cook and sells! As time goes by, my secondary life was nothing to worry abt.. i study without my mom worrying.. until i'm sec 3 i knew a guy called Chee kwang.. He almost separate me and my family.. My mom even wanted commit suicide cos of me & him! he's the one took all of my everything and create the word "REGRET" in my dictionary..

When i realise i had enough of his toying, i took my courage and left him.. 2nd person who entered my life was Jeff. He's a nice guy and everything.. He gave me everything i ever wanted.. No matter how expensive it cost. He always put me infront of anything and because of him, my life changed.. One day, my heart problem getting serious that if i dun operation asap i'd die in 3 yrs or 2 or may b even 1. His patience and love touched me and so i went for the operation. Oh! forget to mention i wanted to end my life since 7. When that day of my operation, he skipped school and even exam just for me. When i was on the way to the operation room i was so scared and lonely when my mom is working no one came to visit me, console or calm me down.. And when the nurses is pushing the bed toward the exit, he rush in and said "sorry dear i was late." As he continued the guard don't let me in as it was not the visiting hrs.. And so he walked with me to the operation room. On the way he told me to be strong and he'll be always there at the door to wait for me... i smile as my tears was falling off my cheek.. He wiped and said "you'll be okay if not will join you in hell! Wait for me else make sure u'll wake up!" When i had a 6~8hrs of operation he didn't go to school for exam.. He was outside the door of the operation room and pray without eat or drink nor go to the toilet.. When he sees me exits from the door, his tears dropped from his eyes and ran towards me.. I can't rmb as i'm still in coma.. The Nurse and my mom told me that! When i asked him he still denied.. When i opened my eyes i saw his smile and my mom was around me and asked how am i.. My mom asked "what i wanna eat?" i replied "KFC!" She nv hav extra money for me to eat that all the time.. That's how i fall in love with "KFC" and know the love my mom had for me...

When i've recovered, i turned into another person that my temper was bad x100 and got nothing i could think of.. I was nasty towards him and everyone as if the owe me a life.. He did almost all of my housework. All i did was gaming and he'd look after my diet. He even cooked my fav food and always get a cup of water to put beside my computer. Soon his effort turn into dust and i fall in love with his close friends... Reason i dunno why too! what i could think of was he always pushed me to him when we're in some quarrel.. One night we quarrel and he ran off leaving me with his friends i keep waiting hr after another.. Until 1am i gave up and his close friend sent me home. That the day my heart died for him.

And thru "ARCO" i knew Mattias. I was a Priest in that game and he's a bard! There's so many priest yet i'm the 1 he request for help! Our story begin.....

We've been close since then.. He've join my pinky butterfly guild and always be there for me.. There's one time he said "i like you" Back then i teased him.. Like me as in? "What made us look alike" i asked.. He said "is the kind of love not look similar!" I smile~ At that time i'm still waiting for Jeff to get me back as he promised.. After mths i gave up and decided to gave Mattias a try... I've been naughty towards him as always.. He wooed me for a long time before we together and get me the BIGGEST teddy bear i've ever got which cost him $400 bucks... that was Cinnamonroll! We've been together 7 mths and i realise i couldn't be fair to him cos all i hav in mind is Jeff so we broke off another reason was our charaters!

After a year, i'm still single when i heard Mattias had a girlfriend i was so heartbreak! But still gave him my blessing hoping he'll get his happiness.. Soon after i heard a news that breaks my heart even more that was the girl was toying him! And i promised myself i'd woo him and protect him from any girls that wanna hurts him.. Cos it's all start from me! If not me he'd be happier.. "if i'm still with him"

He rejected me 3 times and i gave up.. start to treat him as a close friend of mine.. A SPECIAL ONE! A month later we start to meet more often, he invited me to his friend chalet.. We reached there, we went for cycle and when he sent me home, he rest on my shoulder.. I'd cried secretly. Suddenly his arms around my waist.. But still i kept quiet.. When in the lift, i hugged him with my eyes wet.. He asked "why what happened?" i smile and replied "nothing." There's 1 day of the 2 movies, when he sent me home, he held my hands.. i looked at him with tears what this means? He questioned me back "what do you think" my 1st impression was maybe god sister and bro? he said "i only hold a girl hand when she's my girlfriend." My tears start rolling down my cheek and hugged him.. Using all my strength to hug as hard as i could and cried..

We hav been sweet for 1 year and 6mths even he's in NS i've waited him.. without talking to any guys! We met once a week or 2.. Soon bad things came towards us.. He showed cold shoulder on me.. Being late or even not coming for our dates.. Reason being he's tired or sleeping! i was waiting all the time.. And getting bad to worst. Soon he dun even pick up my calls or reply my smses. Not just a or 2 days.. it's from weeks to months.. He didn;t know i'm always waiting for his replys or calls.. Mayb he's afraid of i'd throw trumpet on him again.. End up i received disappointment after another.. He had been holding on whenever i wanted a break but that day he agree to break.. My heart broke into pieces.. His reason was wanna concentrate on his career as a police.. And told me when he got a better saving and everything he'd woos me back and proposed to me!

Day after day, week after week, month after another it has been another 1 year and 6mths.. i;ve been waiting but nothing came.. Even when our anniversary he had forgotten abt me.. i booked a chalet and planned to forget everything.. By the time getting toward 12am it's 5 April... Still got no calls or sms from him, before it reached 12am, i was in dead drunk.. That's the 1st time i create nonsense by drinking too much alcohol! When i woke up i saw a guy was so closed to me and i pushed him.. He asked me to look clearly "IT WAS HIM!" my heart scream within me. I hugged him! And asked why are you here.. If that day he's not here i might b with anothet guy now~ But rmb of what he did.. i wanted to treat the way he used to treated me.. i dun care abt him in the chalet! But still he shows all his care and everything and even clear up the mess in the chalet with me! The 1st time he proposed to me at some wulu place.. Asking me to marry him! Without thinking i said "NO! i hav my life now i dun wanna get marry" 2nd "Regret" written in my dictionary!

After my birthday i didn't gave him chance to love me! i Was freaking nasty towards him and after my birthday he went MIA of my life! He had gave up! And i continued drinking non stop day after another.. We always meet at incorrect timing. Until now we're still playing hide and seek... I hope for another miracle! Will our story b a tragedy like those books i've read? If the answer is yes, i wish to disappear in the story and his life~ I gave myself 6 years Or if he marry another girl, i'd like the story of "You are here!" Leave him forever and gave him back everything! 1/30/2009 11:28:00 PM

Fri 30 Jan 09:
Jin started his wooing on me... and me start on wooing on him.. i always thinks of giving up.. but tell myself not yet... if 4th of april i didn;t get his heart... i'd let go and die at the age of 29.. why i was so cfm abt my death... cos i told him and myself b4.. he will b my last and might b the only guy... in fact to me he's the only possible to b the 1 i'm marrying to... if not i'll end my life~ however no matter how much sms i tried, he seldom reply or shd i say dun reply me that makes me despair... i keep telling for my future i have to fight! like once i fight for him and finally got him in my life... will this time still b the same?! i really wish i'm the girl in the story of "you are here" by low kay hwa.. the girl died in an accident infront of her love one.. and leave this painful world... If the time i've given to Jin and he's able to win my heart.. i'll give myself to him... and still died at the age of 29... and him will know nth abt me.. and hav his happiness... i'll only do my very best while i could... Qing pls, dun turn me down... i dunno wad i'd become... pls tell me we'll walk down the street holding hands tgt~ the girl u r waiting for is still me... so long u haven get another girl is also cos of me.. MELT ME PLS! dun let me wait too long till i give up with despair and end myself... i've been trying kill myself for mths~

Today was my last day of work... we had pizza hut... =D i love u girls... and i've drank alot... wine after wine then sake... give me a bad hang over!

Thu 29 Jan 09:
i'm slowly turning into a worm... a bookworm... where ever i go wadever i do i was glued to a story book... No picture at all.. all was wordings for the 22 yrs of life this was the 1st time i've read so much story book! cos of him.. i'm still chasing after wad he's on... yet i still dunno wad he's chasing... was is it me or someone else? 1/30/2009 08:53:00 PM

After reading my old entries in my blog~ i realise wad he meant by tired.. he's not tired of the r/s nor me~ but the nonsense i create.... i'm unreasonable, my demanding, my attitude... and so i wanted to get back everything by myself... After a long day he still didn't reply me.. when i smsed him again he did reply... he said he dunno wad to reply also dunno wad i'm trying to say.. i dun wanna dig in too much.. dun wanna b that sensitive anymore... i asked him to wait for me... i meant wad i've said Qing!

Jin i'm sorry to hurts u seriously~ i really hate to hurts anyone i just wanna hurt myself... i hate myself for being hopeless and powerless.. i'm at lost when i see ur tears almost burst out! i'm sorry~ 1/29/2009 12:10:00 AM



1/27/2009 09:47:00 PM

i'm in pain!
not just physically
mentally.......
my heart also feel both pain.. i could feel something's wrong with me
i hardly breath and heart was in deep pain recently~


i've send alot sms to him!
But it seem that he's busy or doesn't wanna reply my rubbish msges...
I've finished reading that story..

in the end both lovers

still unable to be together....

God always destory romantic story
and snatch away the happiness~ 1/27/2009 02:46:00 AM

Mon 26 Jan 09:
Didn't slp at all.. He drove me home! it's also the 1st time he asked me to go up by myself.. Always i asked to let me go home myself but u'd follow me even u'r angry with me or wad... It's another hurting memories.. I went to grandma house pretending i'm happy... i dun even hav the mood for CNY! While crying, i pretending reading that touching story book he lend me... Everyone asked me why am i crying i told them the story is touching... Qing you know, when i read the story book i feel so much heartache that i could feels that girls heartaches... Cos we broke off without telling me why u willing let go.... the real answer behind.. and you hide everything towards yourself.. smoke like that guy did... But there's something is different... u'd nv b that romantic like the guy... In the past how u treat me could compare it's like 50-50... And as for me i'd like the girl keep chasing for the ans... why i changed so much is also part of the ans.. i tot u love pretty girls not silly, nerd and stupid girl... i keep on chasing on the life u r now.. Hoping 1 day u with ur friends would asked me to join in... like wad u used to do... bring me everywhere u goes... I'm still reading that book Low Kay Hwa To forget you... i wished my waiting will turn out a miracle... As long as there's love, there's still love... i hope our love will like b4.. stable like a stone... Am i that girl u said still in the place of ur heart?!

will sillygirl be the one celebrating 2009 valentine with sillyboy?
will sillyboy still remember 4th april 09? (it's our 3 yrs!)
will sillyboy still give surprise and make sure he's availble for her on 3 june like he always did?
will sillyboy make 28 July is just for his sillygirl?

To you these days may mean nothing.. U could spend with anyone you like..
But to sillygirl these days is very impt and special to her...
she's always awaiting for sillyboy's dates! especially these days~

Sun 25 Jan 09:
Went to hav my last min hair cut~ And i knew that i'm gonna meet him so i purposely doll myself up with all my might... trying to make myself look as gd as i could... I went to grandma place for dinner... then head to meet him... waited an hr plus at his house void deck... then went to his house... i wanted see if everything still the same.. somehow it's still the same just that all the soft toys i brought for him was put aside... like many days/weeks/months he did not touch... Somehow things i brought for him still everywhere in his room~ i hope when he moved house those not gonna gone missing or garbage... I hope when he got his room, he'd still display everything i've brought for him! However i notice that the 1st cup i brought for him is gone... it's makes me upset... when i put down my bag he's on his bed stretching arms out.. His body language of asking me go over... so i did! i was happy that he did this... i got so many qns for him... i but hardly speak out! I swallow back all my qns... He's no longer that sillyboy... he doesn't care when i scream in pain and cried... when we was slping tgt he no long hugged me tightly and slp tgt nor when i move a single bit he would get up.. wad he did was slp so soundly.. until i almost fall off the bed.. Whole night was so precious to me.. Yet, i only can see u slping and cried in slient... i was wishing we could used all these time to heal everything and restart everything too~ To think back we didn't quarrel or cos of anything break up.. i could say he gave up on me cos of i dunno... mayb her, she, me or nothing... as for me the problem that tears us up was the cold war and ignoring... Also wishing the time could stop or move slower.. even wished that i dun hav to go home just stay like that forever!

i really need to leave this place in order to give him back his freedom and everything...
jin, if u really leaving dun forget bring me along~
qing, before i went to your house i already prepare everything i know it's hurts but i didn't know it's even hurting than wad i tot~
And you know it's the 1st time saw u smoke infront of me.. Do you know how much it hurts me?

Silly me again! u would nv know this blog nor come and read my stories... But i really wish u'd know and understand my feelings and the love i had in you~ have you been serious with me ever since that break up? 1/26/2009 11:28:00 PM

Hide at home whole day... Too lazy to go out.. one of my friend keep asking me out for a few times but i keep reject him abit ps... Today he asked me out for some window shop or wad but i'm tired of going out... So sorry~

To think of this year valentine, our anniversary, my birthday and his birthday... wont be celebrating together =( Guess there's someone else to celebrate with him on valentine and his birthday.. And he might forget abt 4 april too =( Unlike last yr he still make it for our anniversary, my birthday and purposely came down after work on his birthday~ Awww! i dunno wad shd i do on these day~ >.<

my new charater! =3

1/24/2009 11:50:00 PM

Fri 23 Jan 09:
Had a very fun day at work today! when i reached my boss gave me a red packet... it's $30 ang bao! WOW!! After the peak hrs, we girls was like playing around, gossip around, bitching around and even discussed on dirty talks..... Jin came to accompany me today after my work... I had kfc at arpund 1510... then started to drink my sake! At about 1800 i ate another oyster mee sua... and some other rubbish was so full larr.. Leen, Jin, Ashraf and i was drinking like nobody business!! SO FUN!! i went off at 2000 then go sky garden chatted with jin till 2030 then head home... Everyone of my friends are getting marry or settle down~ ME? i'm still wasting my time...

Jin asked me a qns so seriously... he said what if he's going taiwan for a year? my respond was GOOD!! when he's stable in Taiwan, i'll buy ticket over~~ and stay there for 6mths+/- Got a place to restart my life.. and totally MIA in sg! i really need a place to restart and hide myself

Girls on thus pls put on our short pants! and on fri we gonna hav our party okay?! DRINK DRINK DRINK!! WOOOTZ! i'm sad cos i'm leaving grandsalad for sometime as i wanna earn more money and able to save it... i'll miss my girls~ *fri shd b a shag day for me! having party in the after till evening then after that head toward zouk with Sean! He promised to bring me there!!*






1/24/2009 02:43:00 AM

haven't been blogging for a couple of days... alots of things happened but i'm just too tired and exhausted to bring it up...

Have been dreaming of him for 4 days in a row.. And all of them is bad dreams.. can't recall much... But some part i remembered very clearly...
"i dream of him going out with me out of sudden he received a call from a girl, he ditch me aside and rush to her... and i was standing there alone at no where! I actually dreamt wad would happened on my this year birthday.. he drive me out late night... He kept teasing me to and dare me to take public transport home.. so i ran off with tears and purposely avoid him while he's chasing me back... somehow he's still able find me back and drive me to his house.. In his house i found alot things was so different... Was in dilemma on checking him.. end up i didn't and fall asleep on the desk.... the next day i woke up, saw him holding a girl is his arm and told me that she's his wife.. he got married afew weeks ago.. he didn't invite me or let me know... Cos he dunno how to let me know" at that moment, my heart was shattered... The worst things is i can really feel the pain while i was sleeping and the dreams was so real that i woke up with tears all over my face... he's the guy i want for my life but i may not be the girl he wants!! Why do i still want a future with him? Why am i still awaiting for something impossible?
i wan him to hug me while i'm slping... Before i goes to bed, he would help me cover my blanket and give me a gd night kiss on my forehead lastly, he would say gd night & sweet dreams.. It's 1 of our memories on my 20th birthday! i missed the old us.. i wanna settle down with him why is that so hard to achive? i really feel like taking alot sleeping pills and slp without waking up!! I really wish to end my life~ i hate crying REALLY! i hate myself so much without him! DAMMIT!

I hope Miko and Nicole is doing fine... But at lease they are better than me i guess.. I'm jealous and envy abt them cos......... they are strong and able to handle things properly.. Unlike me keep falling for the same holes... 1/22/2009 07:00:00 PM

somehow i'm really tired of everything.. i keep ignoring my friends sms, msn and everything.. sorry guys i'm really tired of everything.. sick of it! I just wanna b alone for sometime.. i know i'm changing myself again~ until i'm happy with it yay! Everyone was asking me how are you? wad happened? Nothing happen! REALLY! i'm just slowly letting go of everything and most imptly trying hard to treat him as a friend... Who he's with or wad i got no right to ask or qsn~ i wish i really hav a baby and give my life to her.. I know the risk of i having baby with my heart problem~ And if i really hav 1 i definitely will try my best to stay happy cos i wan a cheerful kid unlike me~

i got some new recipe for my alcohol drinks... And it's freaking delicious! i'll take the photo someday =D 1/19/2009 05:08:00 PM

Went out with my sisters, yan & Zx... We went sun with moon for dinner... the food there was EXPENSIVE as it's small portion!! Sorry Zx i know it's boring going out with girls haha! Sg is that boring either chill, movie... U guys dun go sentosa or ktv =x After dinner we went chill at spinelli coffee (i think it spell like this) is at the heeren... Chat till 10.30++pm we went to take the train home.. While in the train i met NOGA!! she called me~~ Was so embarrassed larrr~ cos she call my name out loud twice! Then i saw her i ran towards her and hug! i missed her so muchhhh!~~ we'll meet up again for dinner on chinese new year after that i guess i'll go her house =D

my food!!

my mei's food

Jie's & yan's food

Chawamushi

my drinks (cranberrys , watermelon & mints)

mei's drink (lime & mints)

Jie's drink (melon yogurt)

See i hav my fav scallop & prawn on my plate (Yummy!)

cute panda from mtm!

1/17/2009 11:24:00 PM

你给的体温
幸福的气氛
他在你身边
睡得好安稳
是你太残忍
还是我太笨
这样的容忍
有点太牺牲
不习惯你的眼神
在风中不安的变冷
离开的时候是过程
我为爱狂奔
每次当爱从心痛起程
我明白等待背后是伤痕
为了一个人
每夜不熄灯
爱一个人爱得透彻
忘不了爱走过的旅程
我依然相信幸福的可能
只有一个人
我愿意去等
在离开了以后
还会心疼

她给的拥抱
幸福的气氛
你在他身边
笑得好天真
是我爱太深
还是太单纯
这样的转身
有点太牺牲
不习惯你的眼神
在风中不安的变冷
离开的时候是过程
我为爱狂奔
每次当爱从心痛起程
我明白等待背后是伤痕
为了一个人
每夜不熄灯
爱一个人爱得透彻
忘不了爱走过的旅程
我依然相信幸福的可能
只有一个人
我愿意去等
在离开了以后还会心疼
每次当爱从心痛起程
我明白等待背后是伤痕
为了一个人
每夜不熄灯
爱一个人爱得透彻
忘不了爱走过的旅程
我依然相信幸福的可能
只有一个人
我愿意去等
在离开了以后
还会心疼 1/17/2009 04:17:00 PM

i've cried~ drank~ missed him~ is enough girl... just let go and you'll feel better~ Sweetness after each bitter~ Perhaps not pestering or troubling him is the best~ Qing, i loved you like how i uesd to~ Buttt, time came wrong... Everything went wrong between us... those obstacle we use used to overcome aren't possible for this.. The only regret is my dreams just as simple as marry you and hav a small family with u no matter rich or poor... But everything blocked us! Perhaps god jealous of how we used to be.... Silly me, you dun even know this blog~ I shall not bother you since i've returned everything to u.. nothing left for me only memories~ i'll cherish everything u gave to me... and the memories i'll keep in a special place~ thanks for that goodbye kiss! i know that's a goodbye kiss.. i knew you wont reply or ans my calls~ sorry for everything~

*i know he's dunno about this blog.. But somehow i just wanna write down my tots~ If words is more than anything i would say i love you more than million times~ 1/17/2009 03:02:00 AM

i had my favourite strawberry with honey today =)

1/16/2009 11:34:00 PM


1/15/2009 07:54:00 PM

i dunno why i'm extremely unhappy today... after my lunch i actually drank sake at my work place~ and then bring home the rest... From next month onwards i'm gonna lock myself at home... cos start working at uncle's shop also able to save money.... When friends birthday i'll still make it for sure *AS PROMISED.. sigh! i haven start designing my chinese new year card!! i got the inspiration but no mood to draw.. Even if i'm gonna draw with this kind of feeling everything will turn into shit! I wanna save alot money for this yr if i work at uncle's shop sure can... cos all activity will b banned!!

*i've got nothing or anybody but myself
i shall stop trying hard to change the fact and my life
as it's getting more miserable
instead of getting wad i wan, i'm lossing even more
By that time, i guess i'll really lost everything!
i'll learn to b contented and not begging for more
why, why am iiiii.........
always left out, always left behind~~

Getting for (estimate +)
-ipod $350
-laptop $1500
-braces $2000
-Wallet $500
-handbag $1500

returning (estimate +)
-mei $500
-jie $300
-mom $1200
-piggy bank $3000

Total: $10850
(At lease got to work at my uncle shop for a year then able to save something also including not going out! But i guess it's hard)

1/14/2009 02:05:00 AM

mon 12 Jan 09:
After work met him again! He took me to collect the dvd for his mom! Then send me to orchard to do some shopping... i spend alot today =( Brought a dress for $49.90 Gonna wear that for CNY!! Then we head towards sony ericsson care center to get my w580i fix.. While waiting, i changed my phone and notice it's works... so we cancelled our que and went off... Went shopping again.. Spend $90 on cottons on... Everything was cheap!! After shopping, he purposely bring me to chomchom for my lala! YUMMY! He's gentle & superb caring today! But too late we can't turn back the time to where we are... At lease i'm happy being with him cos i sees his smile~! i just wanna b someone who can cheer him up, make him smile~ And not someone who always bothering and troubling him!
*Everything done cannot be undone or amend! But i'll leave a new impression!
Luckily i didn't trouble Jin to come my house all the way from work just to get my phone fixs! Thanks anyway =D
i hope Nicole's and miko's grandma get well soon! i wanna see them happy!!


1/12/2009 11:50:00 PM

i've died on my bed for half of the day! Nothing to do! tml going work~~ I've changed my blog music again! This song is specially for him!!
This few days have been thinking~ saw alot cute kids! I wish i hav 1 with him too! even shotgun marry i dun mind as lease he's with me... Got a family with him! Even if he barely go home is ok as long as he got a home!! Silly thinking it's pointless! I wanted to b with him so much is just that we always got on the wrong time! And i know we'll nv got the chance again! If i could just die tml, i'd stay as ghost to protect all my loves one! Cos they simply mean too much for me!

Yesterday i came home after work and dyed my hair... OMG it's AH MA COLOR!! =((( Next time i go salon to dye better =x I'm not drinking as i'm having gastic =( 1/10/2009 10:49:00 PM

Thu 8 Nov 09:
I'm a gd girl today! slept till late noon then get my ass up from my bed! Stayed at home whole day doing housework... Seriously i need to stay at home repack and re-organise my room! Also paint my room tooo! i hate this plain colour!! Oh ya! Not forgetting to fix my stitch puzzle tooo! But was drinking recently! i dunno why feeling so upset! Manage to finish 1 bottle of the vodka he brought! I wanna drink chivas!!! I guess tml after work gotta stay at home too b gd girl!~ 1/09/2009 02:40:00 AM

the game i'm crazy over!! I wish i got more friends playing with me~
1/08/2009 01:22:00 AM