in the end, he still didn;t manage to give me a call....
ask me out~ for tml~

Nvm~
As long as u r happyyy~~


Today i work.... the time fliessss~
cos got alots of work to b done~
Wed and thus morning i'm working alone...
hope everything's fine =S

I'm unwell todayyy~
superb sicky~~
and emo... thanks to that somebody who cheeer me up~
Brought me the green dress that i wanted get.....

Well, that's all for today~~
LASTLY, HAPPY BIRTHDAY MR Mattias Low~
may ur wishes comes trueeee~~
hope u faster get a car.. cos i know this is the dreams u wanna acheive~

Stay happy always ok?!
=D 7/27/2009 10:17:00 PM

After Reading his sms, i really lost of words....
i know he still care for me...
and he's always like that..
like to hide his feelings and everything~

After replying him~
he still didn't reply~

I'm really speechless~~~~ 7/26/2009 11:00:00 PM

I guess he's really busy~
gotta work...
and got alot of friends would ask him out for celebrate~

And....... she will give him the best memories/present for him on this day~
i'll stand a side ba~
well, why am i upset with it? when i hav some 1 care abt me right now...
i dunno either! mayb still dun used to it... still take these special days too imptly~
gotta continue learn to let go~

Happy birthday in advance.......~
may ur wishes comes true~ 7/25/2009 02:50:00 AM

Until this morning then i know the 2 girls who died~
showing on last night newspaper is from the school i'm working at right now...~ =S

Suddenly think of him~
Recently, he haven been contacting me..
wonder how's he doing...
busy?
and~
he didn't confirm withe me when he wants to meet me next week for his birthday..
pherhaps he's too busy and.. i wont b able celebrate for him too...~

Mayb we r better this way to b friends....
Towards him...
i'm no longer impt to him...

He forgotten all impt days....
and the feeling and love really fade down...
I'm not his girl anymore~
He wont b rmbering me that often too...
most imptly is those impt days to me were nth to him anymore...
so why am i still rmb everything?!

Well, i gave up...
i wont keep seeking for the feeling from him anymore....~

It's nv gonna b the same anymore...
Our dream and wishes r just a dream...
after i woke up...
i'm still alone facing it~

Gotta post some photo soon~ on my life now! =D 7/24/2009 05:28:00 PM

SHITTTSSS!!!
getting more and more break out!!!
i wan go bio skin to suck out all my blackheadssss... and stop all the break outsss~~~

Working working working...
but i'm happy @ work...
No stress~ cos i got a nice superviser!

Finish packing all the 30K+ of books
now all i need to do is maintain the shelves
However still hav the room books to b pack....
so for past 2 days i've been sitting infront of the com...
chatting in msn, doing printing, scanning, wrapping books and those easy stuff~

Past few weeks...
i've been melted~
But still had some unhappiness recently...
beware of Little dumdum...
She's start throwing fire again...
i also dunno why.... i can't control my emotion recently!

i feels so tired...
Emotionally, mentally and physically drained....

dunno why i feels heartache now and then~~
Hopefully i'll recover soon!

i wan more money money money....
cos i need it...

August 1 - bring monster for vacination, check up, and clean her teeth!
Gotta get faster find a dentist too...
Facial to stop all those break outs....
black pants~
new pair of shoes~ 7/23/2009 03:45:00 PM

Being happy, cheerful and positive......
ppl asked me shut up... cos i'm too noisy!

Being emo, unhappy and negative....
ppl asked me to love myself more......

just a small matter but why making me so upset?
cos they all didn't stand on my side?
HAA! wad a loser!!

i really dun wanna chooose anymore.....
i dun wanna choose the life i wan to b....
trying so hard, forcing so hard just to b cheerful~
i am who i am....
locking myself in the room all the time from now on...
shut up and talk less....
smile less.......

just hope my heart can faster stop pumping.....

i know i'm a burden that always makes everyone around me worries....
why i just can't choose the path i wanna walk?!
why i need to look how ppl sees in me, think abt me....
tiring to chase!! 7/19/2009 05:18:00 PM

simply sucks to core!!
i tot to vent my anger on l4d and my vodka would make me feels better
but end up making me worst!

i hated being critcize by others...
i'm sucks so wad u so pro the fuck off larrr!

i wanted washed my clothes and saw my mei things in the washing machine..
i did wash up but still wet so i just leave it to her...
i'm so tired already....
DO I NEED TO HELP U DO?!
when she came home she qns me as if i'm in the fault
and the way she said is like I'M THE ONE TO BLAME!!
yet my mom also said till like my fault!!
HELLO IT'S SAT AND I SURE WILL USE THE WASHING MACHINE AS ALWAYS RIGHT?!
FUCK!! made me feels like staying away from home....
made me feels like running away from this fucking place
I FUCKING HATE THIS HOME!!!!!!!
that's the reason why i always tried to come home late all the time, even i off at 6pm!
cos i hate to come home!!
it's always my fault!!

i'm always running and hiding from problems i'm facing!!
until the time heals everything i'll then show myself!!! when will i learn to face it?!
and kick away this habit?!

I'm confused!! it's really complicated!!!
i can't decided!!
cos i scare to hurts either one!!
whenever i think abt this matter, it gave me a bad headache...
anyway i can;t b greedy too! is impossible to keep everything to myself....
i wonder why the time i spend at home moves faster than work?!

why why why...
God is playing with my fate and feelings again?!
Really dunno what to do neither wad i wan~

Somehow find it pointless to stay in this world!

He have been MIA from me again...
But there's someone who always pamper me, cheering me, accompanied me, take care of me, be around when i need someone....
i wanna watch movie and he always the 1 who buy the ticket and waited for me~

His action really melts me!!! 7/19/2009 04:17:00 AM

last sat met Jun, Yun, Xiang, Shane, Jacky & zx....
watched the movie of the haunting or something lazy find out...
After the show Zx and shane met us for dinner...

The distance is drifting apart....
i was so speechless and dunno wad to do beside smiling and laughing~
After dinner we went Jie house for chilling~
unfortunately Zx and Shane not going...
was kinda boring though~
However we played Heart attack till almost all of us went crazy~

Oh yarr Jacky's gf came too~

that's all lazy to blog~

I notice i'm losing memorise.....
i can't recall anything thing last week beside this and wed~

Wed 8 July, met him for dinner after work @ CCK~
We had Pizza hut *yummy~*
then he sent me home.... 7/14/2009 11:02:00 PM

my heart hurts from last night till now.....
i dunno is like the oldern days... when my heart failure that feeling~
then start to giddy and headache.....
whole body no strength...
both hands shivering too~

i wonder this few days of losing appetite was it cos to this?
and i've checked my appointment...
it has already past...
i need to re-arrange a appointment =S 7/08/2009 03:37:00 PM

scare off my day~
sigh~ dunno y emo emo emo again~
headache, slpy, leg pain alot pain!!!!!

I also feel that Jun's emo-ing.
Since he reached my house, he haven been talking much...
his smile and laughter is gone~
mayb i'm annoying him ba~~

i shd stop pestering him~
Hai~
always made ppl unhappy~
wad a burden.......

i guess i shall call it a day~
Tired on both mentally and physcially~
why being a human is that tired?!
i need a rest badly...
and i wish the rest can b forever....

ii... i... ii'm rreally ttirred of mmy LLIIIFFFFEEE!!!!!!!
EXHAUSTED!!!

Life is a waste of time....
it's all abt study, work and die...
if u calculate ur happiness and fun... u only hav afew time...
but it comes to works and studies it's like forever!

Changing my blog link soon
Imabigburdenemevolrevereven.blogspot.com
i think, i'd hide myself again~ 7/07/2009 10:15:00 PM

i wonder~
that sillyboy&girl been to where?
where's the talkertive qing and hurts...
who always bicker and made each other angry, laughed at times

i notice we hardly get a topic to chat....
sometime i really do wanna talk 2 u...
but i dunno wad topic to bring up.....

is it bcos we haven been contacting each other much?
that fade away our love and conversation?
making a very thick wall in between us?
i hate it this way....

I really dunno wad i wan in life...
this feelings really sucks to core!~

This time i got someone save me when my boat is abt to sink...
this person.. would accompany me whenever i need him...
watched movie with me..
treat me breakfast/lunch/dinner...
but most of the time he'd come to my house for dinner~
Thank you so much...
u have been asking me alot times.....
of wad's troubling me...
and the and is ALOT!!!
i hav alot alot alot of worries in my heart and brain~

Can say that i'm simply exhausted!
i need a break....
i need to hide.....
i need to run away from the realistic~
and my emotions 7/05/2009 11:09:00 PM

Well, if u notice i haven been blogging recently...
i think i'll blog lesser~
cos no time larrr~
after work already exhausted!
wish faster die on bed till next day le~
but when i free, i'll still blog~
mayb just do some summary of my happiness & unhappiness~

anyway, i went to watch ice age 3 with Jun straight after my work ytd~
the movie was SUPERB NICE!!!
made me laughed and cried!
Laughed loudly~~ =D
i dunno why... i'm lossing appetite...
i really wan to put on weight!!
i really wan to look better....

i wanna save money yet~
like wad he said.. i forever cannot finish with what i wanna get for myself....
and he's right...
right now i wanna get myself more top and bottom!!
i wan go cotton on do some shopping~
but no money larrrr =(

i shd SAVE SAVE SAVE!!!
not SPEND SPEND SPEND!!!
=(

lastly,
i've wondering how's boon.. hope he's fine S 7/04/2009 06:59:00 PM

Wee~ just finish my lunch break...
and the library is close from student to come in and study...
so the library is soooo quiet...
and ntt to do... beside packing books back to the shelves....
Even if i pack, there wont b anyone mess up with what i've packed!!
left with 12 rolls of shelves to pack....
jia you!!!
=DDD

bad thing which makes me unhappy is...
my itouch screen got scratchessss!!!!!
URGGGG!!!! sob!!~

i also dunno y the batt used so fast... can't really last long...
not even a day.....
i dunno if i'm regret or not~

Arghh~
ytd i've injuried my spine and hand...
when i'm doing shelving, a stack of bio textbook dropped and hit on my back and right hand...
so painful~

I lost appetite again...
but did force myself and eat some...
Then KOed on bed...
didn't really hav chance to play my game =( 7/01/2009 01:37:00 PM