FREAKING IDIOT!
i dunno why i'm so unhappy whenever i need to go for check up.
if 6 years ago... i'm old enough to choose my own life..
i'd choose not to go for the surgery..
i'd choose to end up.
Cause i hate my life!
Though i got a warmth family now.
I just can't, forget the past!
Really sick of forcing myself to move.
It's always bcos of my health makes me so unhappy!
Why everyone gotta push me to one corner?

Even him!
I'm demanding and childish!
I admit!

I feel like running away now.
Run to somewhere they can't find me.
He dun understand me as well!
Tml i'll go myself!
I DUN NEED ANYONE OF U TO PITY ME!! 1/30/2010 01:19:00 AM

Superb happy today!
When on my way to school, gets to know a stranger with her dog!
And that dog was 9 years old!! that's VERY VERY OLD!!!
After that i tell myself i got a feeling today will be a good day for me.

2nd things happened was.
Surprisingly i'm able to understand what's Mdm Lee was teaching!!
WOOHOOO!
Helped afew classmates.

The very last things was, i got a sunshine surprise from him!
that's melts my day!
It was, a Puma bag!
OMG!
I was happy that i could use any better words to describe.
That was the bag i've been aiming for!!
He rushed to the place just to get me the gift!
Can't stop smiling after that!

Thanks you =D

But somehow happy times flies..
@ night was kinda unhappy.
Dun understand why i ought to do those shits!
No point forcing me. It'd makes me more & more dislike that particular thing.
I just dun wanna hurts my mom. That's y i'm still continue doing.
I believe in every religions. I believe they create the world!
As well as my life. But doesn't mean they could control my life!
IT'S my life!
So let me be who i want.
Do whatever i choose to.
i got my own choice!
No matter how much i grumble,
i still gotta continue with it! 1/28/2010 11:34:00 PM


Photos taken in class:























1/27/2010 03:37:00 PM

Hmm~ i suddenly came across this.
I tried to love someone but always unable to overcome.
After that failure r/s, that makes me fall badly.
It's so hurts and painful that i almost couldn't pull thru~
It's has been more than 2 years.
I'm living in that agony.
All i did after he left me was, hurts myself, torture myself.
Trying destroy my own life.
I've always been trying to be the girl he would love.
Keep chasing and running.
No matter how far i still continue running and chasing of his present/shadow.
Even I'm badly injured.

In this 2years plus, i hardly let others enter my life.
It really takes a long time for me to observe a person.
kept asking myself "Do that person really love me?"
In the other hand, i still holding on him!
Cause he's someone i really loved dearly.
After so long, so many things happened,
I realize is always my family to be there for me.
I'm not his dream girl. I can't continue dreaming!
And slowly i realize he doesn't need me at all.
He already accepted how our r/s was.

And now,
After observe this boy for 7mths plus.
i can say, he really loves me.
and it's really alot alot alot of loves.
He loves me more than i do.
Always do things to melts me.
Trying to get my attentions.
Finally he managed to walks deeper to my heart.
He's not romantic, not sweet yet silly!
Always needs me to nag, scold.
On his expression, i could see his sadness.
Slowly his tears rolled down his cheek.
He'd get me everything, whatever i wants.
The very first branded i get from a guy was him.
No matter how tiring, he'd still meet me up.
Not forgetting to cheer me up,
make me laugh with his stupid facial expression.
as well as actions.
Lastly,
He's also someone who always help me with almost all of my house chores.
Showing cares & loves to everyone in my family.
I can see the loves by his actions.

It's really time for me to......
let all the sweetness he gave to be a past, a history.
And start my new chapter of sweetness this 2010 with another he.
2 years of torture is enough...
It's time to let others enter my heart now!
I gotta be fair when he really puts in so much effort.
But, i'm not gonna look too much into the future.
i dun wish to get disappointed again.
i dun wish to fall that badly again. 1/24/2010 12:40:00 AM

Aww~
Wasn't feeling well.
Keep feel like fainting~
I have been coughing for weeks~ still not recovering!

Well, today's class still not bad.
Realize lecture didn't teach much!
Kinda boring for my I.T lesson.
Just took my medicine.
And felt so @&^#*(&#)
Going lala land soon.
BUTTTT!!!
Promised to play L4D tonight.
So no matter wad gonna make it.

Good luck for tml class.
Happy go luck!
gotta b more cheerful like how i used to be =D
Good night~ 1/18/2010 11:16:00 PM

so much things to blog.
i dunno where to start it too.
I think let's start from school.

At first i like my class.
i Thought they were fun. Would study hard and play hard too.
Was so frustrated when they left me out.
But when i think about it again.
In the past, I've been left out in school all the time.
Cause dunno how to blend in.
So i dun take in so seriously as well.
Life still moves on!
Then, i told myself.
The purpose of going school is to learn more and score well.
Most importantly is to GE THE CERT!

Thus, Fri i went school, didn't talk to them.
I gotta depend on myself.
As long as i get what lecture is teaching, I'll be save!
However,
I simply cannot stand some F & E,
E came to class late yet blaming on the traffic.
And interrupt our lesson.
The worst things was,
Everything have to stop because of her!
E, she & her character looks totally the same person as LL!
sometimes really do irritates me.
Bring friends in also start from her.
If not interrupting the lesson, i dun mind.
But when the lecture gotta stop the lesson and chase them out.
It's wasting our time & money?

Wonder how's he.
We haven been contacting.
I dun wanna interrupt his lifestyle now.
He's happy with his friends!

lastly, Thanks for all my friends who cares.
Always shower me care & concern.
And i know they r reading this boring blog!
Especially, Hiitsu & Jin
always encourage me in anything i do =D
Hiistu, dun emo le larrr!
Jin, Faster find a gf larr! i dun wanna see u turning to monk =x 1/17/2010 08:04:00 AM

Back to blog!
Wasn't really enjoying yesterday's shopping.
As i was feeling foul mood & feeling unwell.
In the end, i throwing trumpet again. =S
Still demanding as before.
Must continue improve =x

I wanna go so many places.
I wanna go sentosa.
I think I'll make sure I'd go sentosa on this march holiday.
And some other place to do some shopping.
I need to go Bugis Village to grab some CNY clothes too.

Not sure this year what style i'm going for.

That's all for today =) 1/10/2010 08:04:00 AM

Was so sick for past 2 days.
Felt so breathless!!
As i was trying so hard to get my oxygen.
My heart feels so weird as well.
The pain comes on & off.
Sometime can feel that my heart skip a beat.
Then continue beating again.
I'm also running a fever too.
My left brain really gave me a great pain!
That i hardly open my eyes to see anything.
Everything single lights i see,
would create more pains to my headache.
Nevertheless, i still manage to go for my class.

My module is so important that I CAN'T SKIP a single lesson!
Had my very 1st lesson yesterday on Engineering Essentials.
We are oughts to remember the colour codes.
It was that easy,
untill i hardly understand what the lecture was trying to teach =X
However i manage to catch what she was teaching now =)

Later, we are heading towards ikea & Century Square.
I bet it'd be superb fun.
Should be updating the photos in my fb!
Check it out on my fb then~

Okay then! i'll stop here for today..
Shall update again when i have another meaningful
my story of my life. =D 1/09/2010 07:42:00 AM

Hmm~ can't sleep right now!
Cause wanna let my sis really rest well.
Tml she's working.
Thus i'm staying awake till morning~

Went for 3D avatar with my 2 sisters, Yan, Jun & Clemmy!
Watch it for the 2nd time. Really love that movie.

Well,
Monday will be my first day of school.
It's a brand new year for me.
Hope everything works well for me.
I have to overcome the fear!
And gotta push myself to work harder.
Hopefully i could transfer to d.Animation..
Really wish to get in.
Not gonna waste anymore of my precious time. 1/02/2010 05:16:00 AM