10 December 2006
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Today didn't manage to meet him up... Cause i wanna accompany my mom more when i have the time.. She old already... If i getting marry wont have much time for her... However, last night dearie said will update his blog.. then called mie.. End up i waited for him the whole night.. Called him a lot of time finally he pick up.. Then chat awhile asked him call me back he said ok.. I waited and waited but got nothing... The next day not even a sorry.. I was very sad not angry with him.. I keep on thinking wad am i to him?! How important i am to him? When i called back, i talk with tears end up i hang up the phone.. he called me back once then give up! It really breaks my heart... Till at night, i called him back is like he pushing everything to mie.. Is like everything my fault.. I dunno why.. I did everything for him.. Put every effort i can in our r/s this is wad i got.. I even changed myself for him.. Do wadever i can be done.. Still dun make any different...i hold him tightly, he say he lack of freedom.. I gave him freedom, he fly and nv return~ I really dunno wad else can be done.. I've been doing things in our r/s.. i Endure, waiting without any complaint... be more understanding, try not to make a fuss abt small things...worried, care about u... Whenever u did something thats made me unhappy, i cheer myself up, console myself.. Cry to my own... endure the loneliness... Yet he still dig up the old bad things abt mie to quarrel. We quarrel until i totally give up, asked for break up.. Then he tried to clam me down.. Then we talk peacefully... After awhile we get back to normal.. But i know that cut in my heart will stay there always...

("v") You wants me to hold you tight.. Whenever i hug you tight, i but cut by ur torns...I really dunno wad else can i do! I did my very best... Do wadever i can~! Everything i'm crying but u wont knows~ No matter how tired i am, i still tried my best to do wadever that can make u melt, sweet and happy.. But I got injuried myself! ("v")

9 December 2006
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Today, We went to pray in the morning.. With mom & family.. Kind of angry with Dear cause he always late... Said coming to my house yet still need to wait for 2hrs ++ When he came i didnt say much... Then he played with Yan.. After awhile Yan fallen asleep, we paint the window.. Then he chat in the kitchen.. My mom said she go out for a walk.. Too bored in my heart i wish to accompany her cause i worried that anythink happen.. But Dear is in my house i dunno wad to do... So my mom went alone... I was kinda worried about her.. When dear fallen asleep i faster called up my mom.. See where is she... After that she came home rest awhile, we went to AMK central.. Go Popular buy my paper & jie buy her printer ink... After that we went to Mayflower ec Opp to had our dinner.. cause i wanna bring my mom go have nice food mah.. Then i wanna eat crab end up go there.. But there are so many ppl.. some ppl cut que some more... kinda pissed off.. Plus can see that mommy dun like to have dinner over that she still prefer that Gim Tim.. That old resturant... So i said why not we go there have our dinner we still can have sharkfin~ =x After awhile, we decided to go there have our dinner... We ordered crab, sharkfin, Drunken Prawns, Kang kong... Dearie treat us!! So nice of him~~ =D i feel alittle sweet & melted...

("v") I feel that i more & more love my mom!! Dun wanna hurts her .. That y i changed alot.. Become more careful when talk to her or my body language.. Dearie thanks for treating my family dinner Love u loads! ("v") 12/13/2006 04:08:00 AM