8 December 2006
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Today do housewrok the whole day.. Helping my mom to clean the house mah... Did manage to made myself happy and forget the unhappy things... Painted the room window & side of the door... I've notice that i've changed alot.. From dunno how to sote and love my mom, became i know how to do those... Wish to bring my mom out for good dinner/lunch. Help out my mom in everything she does, think everything for her.. Just like how she treat my grandma... Just only 1 thing we had are not good.. Is the way of talking/speaking... Sometime hurts her unknowingly... But deep inside my heart she takes alot of place... i care, love, dote, zai hu about her.. After doing those housework, went to play game... Didn't find him the whole day.. I thought he will be online but didnt see him in msn... When i was in game saw him.. slowly we played game together, then talk to each other... Last night i was very angry wbout him... But i had a very very sweet dream about me n him.. Made my love for him get back to the point... So didnt manage to angry with him too much... until just now, 3am ++ thought we can chat nicely in msn.. end up.. Getting hurts again... I'm not saying abt me n u.. I just talk abt U!! Cause i wanna u to feel that u in ns we r better.. dun wanna u to worry much.. scare of anything... We grown up after u been to ns.. Don't u realise? But i do.. In the past all u did is sleep, play and watch tv.. Even we have time wanna meet up, all u did is sleep sleep sleep... Not much sweet talk as now... Not much surprise as now.. At lease now u will try anything to surprise mie even that is not a gift.. And surprise is not all about present but is the heart that u prepare for mie.. We had quarrel most of the time... Now u in ns.. Quarrel also hard.. Sometime feels lonely.. But thinking of how much u suffer in ns i dun feel any lonely.. Cause i know u worked hard for mie.. I just wanna let u know my feeling.. But end up you hurts me with a words... "Then how much sweet talk u gave me?" i was not talking abt mie.. BUt u....

("v") I really tired of pushing you anymore. U dun wanna move i wont say anything anymore... Dunno wad to do.. I cant Let go, cant hold tight.. Whenever i tried, i got cut by ur torns... Just hope that my life end faster.. Than Being torture by emotions.. I'm afraid of letting go... I'm already injured myself everywhere.. Just tell me wad to do! ('v") 12/09/2006 03:10:00 AM