I SIMPLY HATE THOSE OCCASION! Always because of PRAYING stuff end up MAKING MYSELF IN SUCH A MESS!!! I feel confused & guilty towards myself as well as my mom… I’m so sorry for what I’ve done to her… Yelling at her “ARGH!! I’M EVIL I WILL GO TO HELL” I know I’ve hurts her heart again… But I don’t have the courage to say sorry to her… Why am i always behave like this! Whenever I made a mistake that hurts my mom, I always can’t get the courage to say sorry to her… Why only towards my mom, Sorry is that hard to say out? ARGH! I HATE THIS FEELING!!! This time is about a FAT NEIGHBOUR who lives at 9th floor… He always come down took the food after praying… And I didn’t see he did any help.. I felt so annoy by his voice & action.. Whenever I heard his voice I felt so uneasy… From the 1st sight, I didn’t have any good sense about him.. I can say that I dislike him!! Then I have to do those stupid amulet just because of him.. Now, because of him again, I had some argue with my mom… Spoiling our relation… I dunno what to do right now! I realize a lot of my family members dislike me.. But I can’t be bother… Anyway to me they are are nothing. But they are someone who always bullying my mom.. That’s why I dun talk to them at all.. I’ll just reply on what they asked and end my sentence… Had another incident today… When I was taking meat, my grandma suddenly block infront of me… Then I went to her side and take.. Who know she was smoking as if my eyes is on my stomach… Then say said me didn’t see… AUNTY!! HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO SEE WHEN YOU HIDE THE CIGARETTE THERE!! I think I should change myself I dun wanna talk about others anymore… If I hate that person, just hate in heart… Not going to mention anyone again.. I’ve learn my lesson today! After my mom take over the god stuff.. I notice that I start to hate humans alot… as well as god!! Why do I own them these crap! Feel like killing myself!

(“v”) How I wish I could say Sorry to my mom easily… And please stop creating more of these stupid occasion! (“v”) 9/05/2007 01:12:00 AM