Today, happened alot of things... went ot market with mama... Took breakfast with her.. then went home slp... In the afternoon, go NTUc with mei.. i was kinda pissed cos not enough slp.. after that i went to home.. carrying heavy things myself... Then slp like a pig... woke up have dinner.. suddenly & finally he replied me... the msg was like we gonna end this relationship i really hope we can go back to the old times...

After hearing wad my mei told me, i find that i was more sucky that i tot i was...I becoming more hating myself... Why am i like this!! URG! I wanna & trying to be cheerful and make myself happy... So dearie & ppl who care abt me dun hav to see me sad, cried most of the time... Telling myself to look on the bright side...But i still hate myself... Cos of me, i almost destory the relationship i treasure alot.. dearie almost gave up on me...WHY JUST WHY I BEHAVING LIKE THIS?! WHY DO I HAVE COUNTLESS OF BAD POINT THAT ALWAYS MAKES PEOPLE DISLIKE ME?!! WHY AM I SO SUCKS?!! I REALLY DO HATE MYSELF!!! Sometime i really wished, pray, hoped i'm gone.. So i won't hurts anyone close to be without knowing.... And dear dear will learn to cherish.... I wan our relationship to last.. i wanna be a better me... better daughter for mom... better sisters of my siblings... better girl for him... and of cos learn to cherish everyone i have... But i just too suck to do anything.... I'm trying hard too!! we've been together 1 & 1/2 years... can i still counting how long we've been together in future??

After chatting with salt this few days.. I've learn alot from him.... He's really a good friends.. Always laughed so happily... Make me laughed with his laughter & jokes.... I guess he's the only one who keep asked me not to give up... He always tell me touching stories... even his life story...

("v") wad can i depend on now? My simple wish & dreams of being his housewife is that so hard to come true? or am i asking too much? No matter wad SIYI must hold on... dun ever let his hangs slip off~~("v") 10/03/2007 02:37:00 AM