Today, mom didn't wake me up to work.. She forgotten abt me.. When she called, she asked my uncle come fetch me.. Then i brush my teeth, wash up... and rush out~ Forgotton abt my phone~~ Ytd night wanted talked to him! Really wish to.. cos of work... he dun wanna talked to me.. I know he cares abt me... Care abt i dun hav enough slp~ End up! i dunno why feel very sad.. tears start to drop~ And i dunno how i fall asleep... and today, after work, i reached home bath and do wadever shit! Rest awhile then do housework! Dunno y my headache keep on and off! today worst.. sore throat, and body aching!

WHY?! why am i always so dumb & stupid?! All i know is CRY! why am i always drag ppl down to the same emotion i hav... Why am i always making ppl who care for me unhappy?! i just shdn't b here! i shd lock myself up like b4! i'm lonely but i wont drag anyone one down or slow them down!! Or even make their life more unhappy and hurt?! i really dun wish to drag anyone down with me... i dunno how to face him right now! i dunno wad to do! is like i keep making him emo, unhappy or giving him problems... i feel so~ helpless when i see him so emo~ i'm totally lost i dunno wad to do... how to make him laugh or even scold me stupid!

To euu!
I know u are angry, unhappy or troubled abt something! i know u hate to hear me say this! But still i wanna let u know I'm sorry! you said i alway carry everything by myself.. But how can i change when i'm used to b like this.. carry every burden by myself since young! i hav to handle every single things by myself... And everytime i will choose to run away until no chioce have to face it! Including this time.. The story will ending up like me & salt.. Is all bcos of me... i really dunno how to handle or put in effort in r/s.. i really tired to do anything.. Sorry! i know i'm sucks! As always i'm sucks in everything... If u wanna angry cos of this i can't help i really can't help! i really feel hopeless & helpless u know? but is u to lend me ur hands. wad i did is to drag u down with me... i dun wanna slow u down on the track! since i already say out lerr~ u wanna ignore me or avoid me.. i can;t do anything.. But still wanna say sorry x10000~ sorry to cause so many trouble, problems and unhappiness!

("v") I really dunno why am i lidat! i feel that i damn UGLY! as in heart! i just find my life is meaningless.. i just can;t find a gd pts i hav! i can't see anything good i hav anymore! ("v") 4/13/2008 09:30:00 PM