Alright! i've got the answer~ and i will slowly do it~ hai~ Dunno why i think back of the past... then go repack everything in my room~ until i found the musical box.. which one of my ex brought~ then notice he brought alot expensive stuff for me.. like~ diamond ring, diamond necklace, the musicial box i wanted for so long and has been out of stock for very long time, yet he manage to get 1 for me... then think of more things... Been with him, i nv worried abt money or the things i wish to hav.. will nv get~ wadever i wans, he will get it for sure.. Then notice i really take him for granted... nv cherish him.. when i was with him, i was always gaming and he was always alone at my house... i didn't even get some time to accompany him.. all i did was game game game.. and he pour water for me.. time for lunch or dinner he will go buy it and serve it infront of me.. i was stupid.. if i nv break up with him, i guess now i'm enjoying life.. wan go oversea he will bring.. wan anything he will get it for me... now even dun hav to take public transport to go anywhere.. But this r/s i was the 1 who destory it.. and he shd deserve a better girl too~ Once the feeling is lost, even get back it's always different lerr!! Life is boring~ the curse of my life is to be alone.. life really sucks~ Pray for the bad result~ pray for the bad new on 13 may~ I'm a failure! I'm sucks in anything, everything.. even in living~ And even drag ppl down with me.. or even slow them down... It's really sucks!! i really hate myself for being lidat! I wan the old me.. The 1 who hide and buried all the sorrow and unhappiness in heart.. Yet feel happy without acting... Why i cannot get the old me back... who able to manage how to handle all my sorrows and tears? This few days dunno y keep feel like crying but end up i go hide up.. or slp so that i wont cry out... WHY? just why i keep feeling my empty.... i think my headache is cos of myself! i'm thinking too much~ over and over again~ think gonna lock myself up again~ not gonna online... not gonna appear infront of anyone.. like wad i did the past few mths~ wad can i do to erase all my hurtsful memorise and pains? wad can i do to forget everything?! i really wanna sick for weeks... no strength FOR ANYTHING! then i can keep slping let the time pass without knowing.. heal without notice~~ my HEADACHE is killing meee~ Neee~ i miss euu~ T.T when i cried in the night u not there~ to crap with me, to drink with me, to slp with me....... to apply lotion for me.... and to listen to complaints abt life and unhappiness~ time pass faster~ If euu r back~ at lease i wont feel alone~ at lease some 1 accompany me~ at lease my heart is not empty... i changed lerr... know to endure, not to throw temper... u ask mama~ i nv throw temper on anyone lerrr~ the most i tell myself relax, endure or drink..~ I really feel like bursting soon i really cannot take it liao~~~~ wanna take more photo with euu when u come back to sg~ ok? 5/06/2008 05:52:00 PM