After so many things, i've think alot... I know long ago that the 1 he love is her not me! He keep building wall or anything in between me & him~ No matter how much i tried to catch, is still the same... And so, wad am i really holding on? Empty shell? Coldness from him? i dunno either~ And realise that from the start he's not the 1 who is hurting me.. But is me, i myself who is hurting myself.. When i saw her msg... when i saw that receipt... when i saw everything~ His lies, his secret, his heart...

I dunno wad i really wan now.....

Just drag on.. till the day i'm really tired and fall very badly... and earse all swt memories~ All the love and feeling~ That's the day i set myself free~ I'm gonna give myself 2 weeks to heal myself~ hopefully i can do that!

URG! i really hate wad and how i'm feeling now... really sucks from the begining! I really wish i die in next min! Give car bang! Choke to death! cry to death! laugh to death! Sleep to death... I tired to look on bright side BUT REALLY CMI LARRRR! Why why why why so unfair to me? Aren't i'm gd enough for euu? If u love the old me then why changed me till lidat! not only u hate the present me I ALSO HATE OK?! I really hate to myself when remove my MASKK!!! I wanted and always protect u with all i can! I protect the 1 i love yet, i'm hurts by protecting it!!! Why i did put in so much effort in everything more than 2 yrs! Can b replace by others so easily? If only if u have the courage to end my life! i sure will do it! it's foolish, stupid... Wadever~ i just hate all this shit happening on me! She gets everything from him... and me? wad i get? U rich or poor i dun mind! Take bus or got car to sit on, i dun give a damn! All that matters me is UR LOVE FOR ME! UR CARE FOR ME! UR ATTENTION! i always seeking for it... however i nv gets to go near of it b4....


I REALLY DUNNO WAD AM I HOLDING ON IN THIS R/S NOW!!!


can someone slap me up? or kill me straight away! I dun wanna hurts myself anymore... i dun wanna find anymore answers/truth! 9/14/2008 03:20:00 PM