Was so sick so i knock off at 3.30pm.. but didn't go home and rest.. Went to meet him at chinatown.. To check out on our cruise... Somehow we didn't manage to get any ticket cos was expensive.. i guess wont b able to go overseas with him unless i work hard! After everything he send me home.. didn't even realise i haven take my lunch or dinner! While on the bus 268, he received a call.. He talked so gentle! I guess is a girl! He meeting her after sending me home... still at her house if i didn't hear wrongly! i dunno wad am i to him! In his profile he's still single, in his phone it's still my name.. i guess i'm still a normal friend to him! After realise so much, my heart is even painful and hurts! My heart is breaking again! This time, i think i deserve this! Though i'm trying hard to change for him!!! But no matter how i change myself, i'm unable to change him!! After the call, i couldn't put on any smile anymore! Yet i'm still forcing myself to put on a smile with tears! I just dun wan him to know how i feel! Why am i so stupid! And so make me drink again! I dunno why i'm easier to get drunk after stop drinking for a month! just half cup of vodka, like i used to drank more... i'm already drunk! =( crying without his knowing that's the only things i always does!!! I'm not gonna call/sms him for the time being! Until i'm ready to b stupid again!

Thu 25 Dec 2008:

After work, he came to my house in the morning around 5am! I 3was so sick that i keep on coughing and he couldn't sleep well! He went home when he wake up at 4pm plus! That's how i send my xmas with him! =(

Wed 24 Dec 2008:

After work met tracy & Joan. However i waited them for an hr plus! Was kinda pissed off.. Cos i was sick + carry heavy present and got no where to rest! When we met up, went to hav coffee and steamboat then went home! Such a boring xmas! Not even got the chance to drink!