Mon 26 Jan 09:
Didn't slp at all.. He drove me home! it's also the 1st time he asked me to go up by myself.. Always i asked to let me go home myself but u'd follow me even u'r angry with me or wad... It's another hurting memories.. I went to grandma house pretending i'm happy... i dun even hav the mood for CNY! While crying, i pretending reading that touching story book he lend me... Everyone asked me why am i crying i told them the story is touching... Qing you know, when i read the story book i feel so much heartache that i could feels that girls heartaches... Cos we broke off without telling me why u willing let go.... the real answer behind.. and you hide everything towards yourself.. smoke like that guy did... But there's something is different... u'd nv b that romantic like the guy... In the past how u treat me could compare it's like 50-50... And as for me i'd like the girl keep chasing for the ans... why i changed so much is also part of the ans.. i tot u love pretty girls not silly, nerd and stupid girl... i keep on chasing on the life u r now.. Hoping 1 day u with ur friends would asked me to join in... like wad u used to do... bring me everywhere u goes... I'm still reading that book Low Kay Hwa To forget you... i wished my waiting will turn out a miracle... As long as there's love, there's still love... i hope our love will like b4.. stable like a stone... Am i that girl u said still in the place of ur heart?!

will sillygirl be the one celebrating 2009 valentine with sillyboy?
will sillyboy still remember 4th april 09? (it's our 3 yrs!)
will sillyboy still give surprise and make sure he's availble for her on 3 june like he always did?
will sillyboy make 28 July is just for his sillygirl?

To you these days may mean nothing.. U could spend with anyone you like..
But to sillygirl these days is very impt and special to her...
she's always awaiting for sillyboy's dates! especially these days~

Sun 25 Jan 09:
Went to hav my last min hair cut~ And i knew that i'm gonna meet him so i purposely doll myself up with all my might... trying to make myself look as gd as i could... I went to grandma place for dinner... then head to meet him... waited an hr plus at his house void deck... then went to his house... i wanted see if everything still the same.. somehow it's still the same just that all the soft toys i brought for him was put aside... like many days/weeks/months he did not touch... Somehow things i brought for him still everywhere in his room~ i hope when he moved house those not gonna gone missing or garbage... I hope when he got his room, he'd still display everything i've brought for him! However i notice that the 1st cup i brought for him is gone... it's makes me upset... when i put down my bag he's on his bed stretching arms out.. His body language of asking me go over... so i did! i was happy that he did this... i got so many qns for him... i but hardly speak out! I swallow back all my qns... He's no longer that sillyboy... he doesn't care when i scream in pain and cried... when we was slping tgt he no long hugged me tightly and slp tgt nor when i move a single bit he would get up.. wad he did was slp so soundly.. until i almost fall off the bed.. Whole night was so precious to me.. Yet, i only can see u slping and cried in slient... i was wishing we could used all these time to heal everything and restart everything too~ To think back we didn't quarrel or cos of anything break up.. i could say he gave up on me cos of i dunno... mayb her, she, me or nothing... as for me the problem that tears us up was the cold war and ignoring... Also wishing the time could stop or move slower.. even wished that i dun hav to go home just stay like that forever!

i really need to leave this place in order to give him back his freedom and everything...
jin, if u really leaving dun forget bring me along~
qing, before i went to your house i already prepare everything i know it's hurts but i didn't know it's even hurting than wad i tot~
And you know it's the 1st time saw u smoke infront of me.. Do you know how much it hurts me?

Silly me again! u would nv know this blog nor come and read my stories... But i really wish u'd know and understand my feelings and the love i had in you~ have you been serious with me ever since that break up? 1/26/2009 11:28:00 PM