Finally,
feel better for chilling =x
Have been gd girl for aweek plus~
haven been enduring not to drink~
But when i'm fine, i start to think of him again~
wonder wad hav he been doing lately... drinking? busy? emoing? having fun?
the main thing is i missed him! wish i gets to see him so badly!

After drinking 1 cup of vodka, i realise my throat dam pain!
And i think i'm in love with cough syrup =x
Cos it can stop me from thinking, emoing...
And strong enough to KO me!
Not only that, i'm able to rest well~
Without having alots of things on my mind when i'm abt to slp.....
i had a sweet dreams last night~
I dreamt of my family + him went to korean together~
We was sweet like b4~
I really wish not to get up~

Last night, i said something very hurtful~
When my mom asked dua ya pek.
I'm sick for so long why haven recover~
Before she finished her sentence, i tsk at her~ *feel so bad now*
Then i know what ah pek will do~
I straight away said no need...
then i continue
"I this kind of person die early the better."
I've trying to kill myself or make myself collaps,
always never success~
then Ah pek replied, not time yet.. even if u want,
The hell dun wan u! LOL!!!
I guess so. I this kind of person no one will wants
No one wanna keep either
even hell also BANNED ME!~

If i would die,
I'd have die when i'm in her tummy.
i'd die when i'm a baby,
i'd die in that accident when i dash out of the road,
i'd die on my heart failure,
i'd die for drinking too much alcohol,
i'd die when i'm abusing myself,
if only i'll die, i'm already dead
But why am i still alive?

i feel like making everyone hate me, dislike me.. especially him~
i feel like throwing everything i hav away~
i dun wanna hurts anyone...
i'll just give everyone who love me hurts~
i dunno what i'm trying to do either~ 4/18/2009 03:03:00 AM