Trying to be happy and less flare up - DAY 2! *hmm~ not bad! GANBATTE!*
Trying to put on weight - DAY 2! *still trying hard to squeeze the food in my stomach*
Trying to let go of him - DAY 7! *still missing him constantly*

Today i went to work~ Superb tired!
All i hav in my mind was him!
When i'm carry things with plastic bags, i'd think of he's care and nag~ *still feels sweetness whenever i think of it*
When i mention i wanna work in F&B line, he forbid me! Cos he scare i can't cope and too tough for me *Why all his care suddenly flashed back when i'm trying hard to put everything aside?!*
I just dun wanna forget everything we did! And i know it's impossible to forget!
But i got no choice to put aside! *it just so damn freaking hard!*
Whenever i'm doing shopping, i'd still think of him carry my bag, items, carrier so i'm able shop freely~
Where ever i go, is all our memories~
Whatever i do, it recalls back our history~
Mayb he already deleted/forgotten everything we did together~
To me, it's still with me!~

And maybe if i didn't blog down my feelings~
He'd nv find out~
And.........
Maybe this wont happening now........
at lease there's still 50%
But now it's 0%......

Conclusion:
should i stop blogging~
But it's already a habit of mine!
It flashed back on what my mei said~
Made me realise actually she's right!!
I blog just get ppl's attention especially him!
I blog just wanting someone to pity on me?!
which i can't find the answers for blogging?
My blog was alive just for euu sillyboy.
But now, wad's the pts of continue blogging?!
can someone tell me?
i wish to get away for a period of time~ maybe 1 or 2 years? or maybe forever~
Until i'm able to face myself, him, realistic, our love and our history!~
Staying at the same place, seeing the same things.....
Memories always flashed back~
That makes me heartache, cried and start to qns myself why is this happening when we were so in love?
Maybe when i returned, i see him with another girl or already married and hav his own family
i might not feel any heartache anymore?
I simply hate the heartache whenever i know he's with any girl~ 4/19/2009 07:30:00 PM