Hmm~ i suddenly came across this.
I tried to love someone but always unable to overcome.
After that failure r/s, that makes me fall badly.
It's so hurts and painful that i almost couldn't pull thru~
It's has been more than 2 years.
I'm living in that agony.
All i did after he left me was, hurts myself, torture myself.
Trying destroy my own life.
I've always been trying to be the girl he would love.
Keep chasing and running.
No matter how far i still continue running and chasing of his present/shadow.
Even I'm badly injured.

In this 2years plus, i hardly let others enter my life.
It really takes a long time for me to observe a person.
kept asking myself "Do that person really love me?"
In the other hand, i still holding on him!
Cause he's someone i really loved dearly.
After so long, so many things happened,
I realize is always my family to be there for me.
I'm not his dream girl. I can't continue dreaming!
And slowly i realize he doesn't need me at all.
He already accepted how our r/s was.

And now,
After observe this boy for 7mths plus.
i can say, he really loves me.
and it's really alot alot alot of loves.
He loves me more than i do.
Always do things to melts me.
Trying to get my attentions.
Finally he managed to walks deeper to my heart.
He's not romantic, not sweet yet silly!
Always needs me to nag, scold.
On his expression, i could see his sadness.
Slowly his tears rolled down his cheek.
He'd get me everything, whatever i wants.
The very first branded i get from a guy was him.
No matter how tiring, he'd still meet me up.
Not forgetting to cheer me up,
make me laugh with his stupid facial expression.
as well as actions.
Lastly,
He's also someone who always help me with almost all of my house chores.
Showing cares & loves to everyone in my family.
I can see the loves by his actions.

It's really time for me to......
let all the sweetness he gave to be a past, a history.
And start my new chapter of sweetness this 2010 with another he.
2 years of torture is enough...
It's time to let others enter my heart now!
I gotta be fair when he really puts in so much effort.
But, i'm not gonna look too much into the future.
i dun wish to get disappointed again.
i dun wish to fall that badly again. 1/24/2010 12:40:00 AM